It's a small, small world

I really don't mind sharing my whole life stories on the internet. I have lots to say and no real outlets to say it. So, really, the internet is PERFECT for that.

IRL, however, I am a lot more reserved. I don't volunteer information unless asked. Also, I have made a habit of dodging a speech class that I KNOW I need to graduate. (Damn you, public speaking class. Why do you have to be mandatory?!)

Anyways, I finally decided to bite the bullet and take the stupid class. 1) I really don't have that many classes before I graduate, 2) if I take it in the summer it's accelerated, so it's like ripping off a band-aid. Painful, but not long and drawn out and 3) I'm taking it at the local Junior College (because, let's face it, it's CHEAPER).

I worried and worried over this class. Not because I'm not articulate. CLEARLY, I am (you can't see it, but just imagine my sarcastic "sure I am" face here). But because I hate, HATE speaking in public. I get nervous, my voice wobbles and also? I talk with my hands, so no matter how nervous I am, I look even MORE nervous because of that.

I finally got over myself though. I was like, I don't even know these people...short of throwing up in front of the class, there's not really that much to be worried about because I will never see these people again.

...Yeah. Did you hear me tempting fate? I didn't. But apparently, just the thought was enough for Fate to slap me in the face. I got through my first speech, (about MOVIES, for God's sake...I know all about movies!) said something completely random because I was in no way prepared to stand up in front of 32 people and ramble on for 2 minutes. Whatever. I felt good about doing it without too much damage to my psyche.

Friday at work, I'm leaving Rounds (where I get to hear about each patient and every single one of their issues, medical, personal and anything worth gossiping about), the student shadowing one of the RN's stops me...
Aren't you taking Speech 1 @ random JC?
Me: Yes, I am.
Oh, me too. I thought you looked familiar...So I guess I'll see you on Monday here & in class.
Me: AWESOME.

So here's hoping that I don't party too hard and go to class drunk off my ass and really throw up in the middle of giving a speech, or say/do something completely ridiculous (wish me luck with THAT one, I'm sure going to need it), because now I'm going to be worried that my random assholery will be reported back to my co-workers.

What are the chances that I would take a random class at night and be enrolled a co-worker that is ONLY HERE FOR THE SUMMER? I suppose they're a lot higher than you'd think.

Fuck.

She gets it from her Mama

To what I am sure is going to be my everlasting regret, I agreed that The Brat is getting old enough to go to concerts. Or caved in from all the begging because all of her favorite bands are touring this summer and OMG - who KNOWS if Fall Out Boy will have another CD out next summer. Tom-A-to, tom-AH-to. One of her friends (and her Mom) took The Brat to see Britney Spears (don’t judge me. The Brat IS her target audience: 13 year old girl), she’s got plans to see The Jonas Brothers this summer, and I’m taking her to see No Doubt in August. And then my friend says…Hey, does The Brat want to see The Veronicas? My reaction:…? I have NO idea who The Veronicas are, so I call The Brat and ask her. SHE knows who they are… SHE would love to see them (also the tickets were dirt cheap, holy hell!)

Last night was the night. Me & Mo and our daughters. Once they realized that we were not going to hover, they asked if they could stand up front. Which they did. While we watched. From the bar. Because if I’m going to be listening to my daughters music, I was pretty sure I was going to need some alcohol.


First Band: Carney
Surprisingly good. I didn’t really know what to expect, since honestly, I thought the Veronicas didn’t have an opening act AND didn’t know they are far beyond any Jonas Brothers type act. Word on the street (from our teenagers) is that the Jo Bros opened for them before. They were signing merch & taking pictures in the lobby after the show so….

Yeah, I know. Top: Lead Singer. Bottom: Drummer (What is it with those drummers?)

Second Band: The Pretty Reckless.
Also good. The girls REALLY liked this band. Since I had never heard of ANY of these bands, I was completely surprised that the lead singer is an actress on Gossip Girl. Also? Happily surprised that I’m raising a girl who likes ALL kinds of music and not just Jonas Brother/Hannah Montana –y type bullshit. I mean, I TRY to expand her consciousness of music beyond the Ting Tings and Fergie..but you never know if it’s gonna work.

Headliner
So let me just say…that I spent most of my time at the club hanging around the bar. I spied a few actor types and of course, some “I look like I’m in band types”. Most of the night I stood behind a guy who looked like Zach Galifianakis. Only an asshole. HE spent most of his time chatting up a couple of weirdly dressed chicks. One had on a flapper headband. The other one had on these HUGE glasses. They probably spend the whole second set talking and drinking. Blah blah blah…blah blah blah…Blah.Blah.Blah. GEEZ. Just shaddup already. I take a potty break and return just in time to the Veronicas. The weirdly dressed chicks?

Are now not so weirdly dressed and are on stage. The music? VERY GOOD. The Brat’s got pretty good taste in tunes.

We left around 11:30ish. I had a new respect for The Brat’s musical interests, found a couple of new bands that were pretty good. I guess the girls were feeling kind of smug that we ended up enjoying the concert after all because as we were telling them that we had been standing less than 2 feet from the Veronicas half the evening… “Have we taught you NOTHING?! How could you not know who they were?"

Hmm...so when did the students become the teachers?

Flash Back from the Past

Recently, an old friend came to Cali for a visit. We met in JUNIOR HIGH (–I keep old school, they didn’t have middle schools back then). She lived around the corner from me, and we became friends as we walked the same route to the bus stop, got to know each other while we waited for the world’s worst bus driver and gossiped over lunch period. We hung out at her house, or mine, alternately giggling or complaining about homework/teachers/parents/BOYS. We cruised Crenshaw, crashed house parties, prank called, stalked boyfriends, hung out at Venice Beach.

She was there when I found out I was pregnant, took bets on whether The Boyfriend (now The Husband) & I would elope when I went on vacation to visit him in Hawaii (winner winner – I did).

We’ve stayed close through e-mails, phone calls, long distance shoulders to cry on...sometimes, when warranted..a good cussing out.

But nothing beats a visit home.

Somewhere in an Alternate Universe

Every Saturday is more or less the same. Errands, avoiding laundry, I try to squeeze in gym time –but lets face it, it’s the weekend. I’m more interested in sleeping in.

So after a day filled with running around like a chicken with my head cut off…I DON’T go to bed. What do I do? I go to my neighbor’s house. My presence was requested by them, and the bottle of tequila they had. No special reason; no birthday party, or graduation, no quince or bbq. Just some tequila and sunflower seeds. I may or may not have even twittered.

Yes, my neighbors and I like to keep it klassy, why do you ask?

A month ago, I probably would have been eating from a taco bar that my neighbor had made while she dug through the “girl fridge” (like a beer fridge, but stocked with wine, hard ciders and REAL liquor ‘cause I don’t drink beer) for something to drink. We would have been discussing 4th of July festivities, The Man’s retirement, maybe even the Superbowl Cruise next year. She would have had some “honey do” task for The Man to do because she lived alone and we loved her like family.

She lived next door to my family for almost 20 years. She didn’t have any children of her own. But she adopted me AND my brats. She became my Mom’s best friend. She used to put a bowl of fruit on the bottom shelf of her fridge so The Boy could get his own snacks when he would invite himself over to watch cartoons at her house. She’d take him out every Sunday for Mickey D’s breakfast. She had a hat box filled with barrettes and hair bands and she would do The Brat’s hair Sunday afternoons for school on Monday.

We all called her Auntie. Last month, she died unexpectedly. I couldn’t write about it then. It was too much of a surprise, too hard to put into words, too painful to talk about. It’s one thing when you know that somebody’s gonna die, quite another to come home and realize that somebody so full of life was snatched away with no warning at all. And you’re left with that confused feeling of why it had to happen like that.

I saw my neighbor on Mother’s Day. She had returned from her Mother’s house, where she had spent the day and was going to bed. And she’d wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. This Sunday, she probably would have wished The Man Happy Father’s Day..maybe even cooked something. If I was going to cook, I would have made sure I had enough to send her a plate.

This Sunday, I’m going to wish The Man a Happy Father’s Day and spend time with my family. I’m going to visit my Dad and my FIL and wish THEM a Happy Father’s Day.

When I go outside, I’m going to look over at her house, but I know she’s not there. I’ll try not to cry, but I’m sure I probably will, if just a little bit. And while I keep The Man company as he smokes a butt on the porch (because he is NOT allowed to smoke in the house) we’ll probably talk some about if Gail WERE here. If Auntie Gail WAS here, she’d wish you a Happy Father’s Day, and make you a jar of salsa that you wouldn’t have to share with anybody (except me because I would totally steal some if you didn’t). And she’d let you talk her into having a drink with us. We would thank her for the salsa because I swear she must sprinkle crack in it, it was so good and she would say “c’mon you know I love you guys”

And we loved her back. I’m pretty sure that if she were here, she’d say all of those things.

But she’s not.

The one where I tell you where to go

So even though I post to my OWN blog with stunning irregularity, I signed up to be a guest poster over at The Atomic Mom. Please to enjoy.

It's kinda nice over there, they've got cookies.

Reading is Fundamental

And so is spelling.

HORSES. H-O-R-S-E-S.

A love/hate letter

Dear Hard Rock Las Vegas,

I want you to know how much I love you. I’ve pretty much been in love with you since I went to see the Foo Fighters at the Joint. There were cute boys who bought me drinks, cute boys to dance with, and cute boys who almost –ALMOST – made forget I was happily married. I had one of the best nights ever, which is saying a lot since just earlier in the day I was totally & completely hung over and not quite sure that I was going to be able to make it out alive.

Since THAT trip to Vegas, I’ve been back to visit you several more times. And I’ve had a blast every single time. But you know I can’t just come and visit you whenever I want. I’ve got a job, BILLS, a husband who doesn’t love Vegas as much as I do, rent…You get the idea. I can’t be blowing several hundred dollars a month messing around with you.

And yet, you mock me. You relentlessly and unfeelingly send me hotel deals for weekends in Vegas. You tempt me with concerts of people you KNOW I want to see AND you give me presale passwords, so I can get the jump on concert tickets. WHY are you torturing me? It’s not enough that I’ve been to Vegas 3 times already? That I just saw No Doubt w/ Paramore at the Mandalay Bay and I STILL managed to come over and gamble a substantial amount of money at the Hard Rock?

It can’t be, because this morning you sent me an email telling me that No Doubt is coming to the JOINT with Panic! At the Disco. Blink 182? Also? Green Day playing ON MY ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND? Wait..that's at the Mandalay Bay. But still, you know that I will end up over there drinking too much, flirting too much and gambling too much. Dirty pool, my friend.

Anyways, as much as I love you, I hate you. And as much as it pains me to admit it, it’s obvious that you hate me too. Otherwise why would you torture me with Stone Temple Pilots and Incubus tickets? Super cheap hotel rooms? Yes, I know I could totally see these people in LA, but everyone knows that concerts are more fun in Vegas. Especially you.

So I just wanted you to know, you’re a jerk. And I don’t appreciate you taunting me with fun laughs and good times (and gambling) when you know I can’t afford it.

Go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect (my) $200…

Love,
Me.

P.S. I’ll see you in the fall.

It's a secret, but I'm gonna tell you anyways

Every once in a great while, my friends & I get together for LESS drinking.
Sunday’s event: Vision Boards.
You know… thinking positive, things that you are aspiring to do/be/have.

There was breakfast & mimosas. Already, I’m liking this. Nothing can be all bad when there’s champagne, right? RIGHT.

We watched The Secret (did you know it was a DVD? I didn’t) I’ll admit, I’m not that great at keeping SOME secrets. Also? I have a short attention span.

The secret:
Think positive. That’s pretty much it.
(I'm sure I'm oversimplifying...but still)


It said other stuff, but I started tuning out because I start thinking about all of the things that I want from my life and if I brought enough magazines and how come I didn’t bring scissors OR elmer’s glue and how much fun it was when I would glue my hands and then peel it like I was a snake…but I DID buy some glitter glue when I went to Target for $1 and how they tricked me and I only went in to buy a board but $60 later had the board, stickers, scrapbooking stuff, a few BOOKS and STILL--STILL didn't buy the eyeliner that I needed.

I had a good time. We sat around looking through magazines, asking did anybody want a picture of Christian Bale err…Common, uhhh…WEDDING CAKE (yeah, because there are some single ladies who want to marry and have 8 babies ).

Glued to MY board: a graduation cap, a beautiful house (because I am planning to own a home – soon!), some vacation spots I plan on visiting. Also on my board:

[I am a strong woman]
Because even I need a reminder sometimes.

[Can Do]
Power of positive thinking, anyone?





And because I like it to keep it real

[How to Get What You Want From Anyone
(and we mean that in the nicest way possible)]

Hey, if I’m going to take over the world, being able to get what I want from people is a skill I'm going to need.