Monday, April 27, 2009


This weekend, some friends & I went back in time. Okay, maybe not ALL the way back in time…I can’t afford a Delorean. We went to the Renaissance Faire. My brother & his family also went.

This is surprising for 2 reasons:
1. He very rarely hangs out with his big sisters if it’s not a family function
2. We will on occasion pry his wife out of the house, but usually more than happy to ignore our random outings.

Anyways, we had a great time. We had stopped to re-fill our mugs (because if you’re going to go back to “Ye Olde School” you gotta bring your own drinking mug) and rest. As it happens, our rest stop was next to one of the stage shows. They were having a sing along.

To be honest, I wasn’t paying much attention to the show, until I heard PENIS! (I can’t make things up, really) We were next to the over 17 stage. Where they songs are much more uhh..ballsy. It was a sing-along of some sort. They even had a sign to hold up to clue you in on when you were supposed to shout out.

Naturally, that’s when the friends & I decided we were going over to watch the show, because you KNOW I had to go over and watch a show where I was going to get to shout out PENIS! While we were still sitting around, my brother just heard singing and took his five year old daughter over. After the first verse, he runs back asking why NOBODY told him they were singing songs about body parts. My bad for assuming you heard them singing before you ran over with my niece for a sing along, OR saw the sign RIGHT AT THE ENTRANCE that said not for anyone under the age of 17, OR the penis shaped sign they were holding up that said right on it “PENIS!”

What did you THINK they were saying?


See? That’s the problem with men. Even when they’re listening they’re not listening.

Then again, maybe it's a family trait.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Can I have an epiphany at 7AM? Can I even spell it?

So last week, I was asked to go to happy hour with my co-workers to celebrate a birthday. I said sure, but I couldn’t stay very long because I had an exam the next day. It was fun, I had a couple of drinks and some spinach dip (Boy, do I love spinach dip), and I was home pretty early.

That next day, which was a SATURDAY, I woke up around 6:45 to be at school by 7:15. In the morning. You know I just rolled out of bed and put on the closest thing (pajama pants) and a pair of flip flops. What? Anyways, as I’m standing in the most ridiculous line EVER that didn’t involve music or liquor or BOTH, I think it hit me.

I am A STUDENT. Not just any ol’ undeclared student, I’m a student who is going to graduate next year. To be honest with you, I think maybe I freaked out a little bit. That was quite the revelation for not even 8AM. Which is probably a little weird since it’s not like once I graduate, I’m going to have to go out and look for a good paying job. Luckily, I’ve already got one of those. Although, I wouldn’t knock a BETTER paying job, which actually I’ll get too. My employer gives you an automatic pay raise when you get a degree. Oh, the joys of academia! Maybe it was just the realization that I FINALLY made up my mind, and I’m going to finish something that I started a long time ago. I’m going to have a DEGREE in something. I know everything there is to know about my major. (Did I just go too far? Hmm).

I guess I just got comfortable saying I’m going to go back to school. I let work and kids and all the other things going on in my life provide me with excuses. I’m too busy, who’s going to baby-sit, too expensive…Not that these aren’t all valid reasons. But when I can pull a few hundred dollars out of my ass anytime somebody says let’s go to Vegas, I’m probably not as broke as you’d think. And of course, maybe I was a little scared to return after all these years. What if I can’t hang? What if it really IS too hard? What if it’s too much?

Then all the stars aligned and The Man is going to retire next month, so SOMEBODY will be home while I’m spending late nights at school. The Big Fancy Hospital where I work paid my tuition and I just got tired of WANTING to go back to school, and just WENT. Even better? Just got an A on my accounting exam. So it turns out, I haven’t forgotten everything I’ve learned.

It’s hard to have so much to do. Work, school, kids, husband (or should I include him in kids?). Homework, studying for exams, soccer practices, random teen-ager stuff…But I’ll make it work, because even though it keeps me very busy, I’m pretty determined to see this through to the very end.

Wow. I feel a little bit like a grown up. Maybe I’ll go balance my checkbook or something. Ugh. Or maybe not.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I'll be blouses

(anybody remember that Chappelle skit? anyone?)

Ahem. Last weekend I went to see Prince. PRINCE. I have been in love with him since I was a girl in the 80's listening to the single of soft and wet at my cousin's house because HER mom didn't know anything about Prince and let her listen to whatever she wanted to, and my mom was SO UNFAIR and said there was no way in hell I could listen to that and as long as I lived in her house I had to abide by HER RULES, so me & my cousin would listen to it on her RECORD PLAYER -you know one of those records where you had to put the little thingy in the middle so it would play on your record player?

But I digress. I have tried to see Prince a gazillion times. But the stars just would not align. Of course, at first I was too young. Heh. Could you imagine asking your mom to see a person whose records you're not even supposed to KNOW about? Right. I actually DID see him once, at some random award show (when you live in LA you're bound to end up at an award show now & then, I think we won tickets on the radio or something...) Totally didn't count. And so I put him on the list of people to do SEE:

1. U2

2. Rolling Stones (if they're not dead before I can afford good seats)

3. Aerosmith (ditto)

4. Prince

5. Those damn Killers (it's like they're playing hide & seek)

There were others, but let's just say the last few years have been busy concert-wise...So now I've really just got the BIG BANDS (except the killers, which is just a matter of principal), and Prince. And one day I'm at work when I get an e-mail from a friend that says that Prince is in concert the next weekend, did I want to go? Do I want to go? Hell yes! He had 3 concerts-- all in one night. I chose the midnight show. Because if you could be anywhere at midnight, wouldn't you want to be with Prince? Rawr.

Anyhoots, good times. Even though he is so tiny (sorry honey, you are), he is still SO.VERY.SEXY. I was in the general admission, which for the venue was standing in front of the stage, so yes, I got a up close, and personal look at his royal highness. I got to watch Prince do what he was obviously born to do AND I also got to see Chaka Khan sing "Sweet Thang", which was...totally mind-blowing.

What I didn't get was a picture because 1. Prince does not let fans bring in cameras 2. He had JUST told somebody "hey..don't take my picture, just enjoy the show" 3. My phone does NOT have a flash and takes shitty indoor pix. Also..4. I STILL don't have a camera. Mine crapped out a few months ago and I've been too lazy to go to best buy or target or somewhere and pick one up. So that ALSO means: No drunk pictures of my friends, or the cuties that bought us a round. Dang!

Prince also asked what did we want him to play...and then played Beautiful Ones...I love that song...I really was hoping for darling nikki, was not to be. I can't complain though. Because really? I got to see this smirk in person, and is a total 'panty dropper', while he played the guitar and that alone was pretty damn awesome.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Who's down with OPP?

(That would be Other People's PROBLEMS...I'm a married woman, you know)

The man & I have a very close friendship with another couple. Of our group of friends, they have probably come the closest to having been married anywhere NEAR as long as we have. The Man and his friend have been friends since birth, their moms were preggers around the same get the idea...

The wife? We hit it off immediately; it was like finding a long lost sister.

And then? Do you remember a little story about a girl that cried divorce? Well, this is her. Their relationship? Imploded. And I don’t mean in a we-had-an-argument-that-just-shows-its-time-to-move-on way. I mean, it was explosive. There was crying, and drama and cops*! (Oh my). Obviously I can’t tell allll her business but she doesn’t have a blog and I do and for a while there I thought that maybe if I didn't say something was going to explode and not in the wow-that-was-awesome-wake-me-in-20-minutes way (nudge nudge..wink wink. I'm such a dude sometimes) but as in there was gonna be bits & pieces of brain matter all over the walls because my head completely exploded from listening to the craziness that was somebody ELSE’S life.

The Man says Hey you! Don't get involved. It’s gonna get ugly.
Me: Nah, I'm not going to get involved. I'm just listening. (and listening, and listening...)
And then..Me: He did what?! (see what just happened there? I'll bet you can guess)

Instead of just listening, I got involved. Even though I said I wouldn't. And even though The Man claimed he wouldn't get mad if I got involved "because that's what girls do". He did.

I ended up getting mad at everybody. Mad at The Man’s BFF for being a jackass, mad at the long lost sis for being weak…mad at myself for taking this all personally, I’m even mad at The Man, mostly because while he wasn’t completely RIGHT about me getting involved, He wasn’t completely WRONG either. Because getting a little bit involved turned out to be like being a little bit pregnant. And lemme tell you, I have a 19 year old AND a 13 year old. I don’t even want to have a passing acquaintance with pregnant. I’ve raised all the kids that I plan to, and that includes grown people acting like 3 year olds.

And then after a couple of sleepless nights, I woke up, literally. THIS was not my fight. I can be sympathetic, I can be angry at the situation, I can listen… I cannot BE long lost sis. She’s going to have to be the one to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. I got my own issues to deal with, I sure as hell don't need hers.

As for my opinions, which, you know..are LEGION…?I’m going to keep them to myself. Because six months down the road, when the two of them are back in “love” , and she is no longer trying to play the divorce card (again), you know who’s going to be the bad guy? The friend that told her that her (in)significant other was not just an asshole, but quite possibly the WHOLE ASS. Not that I would ever SAY that. Heh. (but he is…really.)

*I think it’s a little weird that makes TWO times where there was police involvement, and I didn’t see it coming either time. I guess you never really know you’re gonna need the cops, until you do. On the other hand, nobody’s ever called the cops on ME, so I guess I can be grateful for that. Then again, third time's the charm. 

**Also, thank you for listening while I verbally vomited all over my blog. But, like when you hurl in real life (except for when you have like some horrible tummy virus and you just barf and barf and you feel like you're never gonna stop & you end up curled in a ball around the toilet hoping for death, sweet death), I feel loads better now that I got it all out. 

Next post, my Prince concert, and why he was awesome even though he didn't sing darling nikki.