Cheater

(I'm wearing shades to hide my embarrassment for being such a bad girl)

I know. I willingly entered into this relationship with you. But I kind of assumed you knew the deal: I couldn't devote all of my time to you.

We were in agreement as to how much time I could spend with you. A couple of days a week, no more. At first you seemed to be okay with that; you didn't even ask what I was doing on the days when we weren't together. Maybe that's why I thought you were okay with it. But now, you're demanding more of my time, and baby, quite frankly I just don't have it to give. So maybe it's my fault for not being more clear.

I don't want you to misunderstand your place in my life, and I don't want to seem like a bitch. BUT.

We need to talk.

Did you forget that you are a summer school class that I take AT NIGHT? Not that you aren't important to me. You are. Without you, I can't graduate. But like Popeye, you am what you am. You are a quickie course that our Educational Systems insists that I take so that I am a "well rounded" student (whatever THAT means). I signed up to hit it and quit it pound a semesters worth of information into 6 weeks of Tuesday and Thursday NIGHTS. NIGHTS because I am somewhere else in the daytime, as are most people who take night classes are. That means *NOT* Monday or Wednesdays and DEFINITELY no "afternoon delights". I'm busy.

In fact, I have another piece on the side class on Mondays & Wednesdays. Also? I don't want to see you on Fridays or weekends. I really think that 2 days a week is plenty. And I would much rather spend my days that I'm not in school STUDYING *coughBULLSHITcough* or spending time with my family, or even sitting around with my thumb up my ass. But I would NOT like to spend that time with you.

Please baby, know your role. I participate in class, I have almost perfect attendance (I skipped ONE day to go to a Linkin Park concert, can you blame me, really?), and I've gotten A's on the test. I want you to feel important when I'm with you, but I have other classes that I have to devote my time to as well. And I can't just take time away from other classes for you. Be happy knowing that whenever we are together you have my undivided attention: I will not study for another class, or spend my time texting/twittering/looking at my facebook page, because I care about my grade your feelings.

Remember, this relationship was never exclusive, and you knew that when we got together. When you look back on our time together, I hope that you will give me an A have enjoyed our interlude and much as I did, and you remember me fondly.

Love,

Me.

It's a small, small world

I really don't mind sharing my whole life stories on the internet. I have lots to say and no real outlets to say it. So, really, the internet is PERFECT for that.

IRL, however, I am a lot more reserved. I don't volunteer information unless asked. Also, I have made a habit of dodging a speech class that I KNOW I need to graduate. (Damn you, public speaking class. Why do you have to be mandatory?!)

Anyways, I finally decided to bite the bullet and take the stupid class. 1) I really don't have that many classes before I graduate, 2) if I take it in the summer it's accelerated, so it's like ripping off a band-aid. Painful, but not long and drawn out and 3) I'm taking it at the local Junior College (because, let's face it, it's CHEAPER).

I worried and worried over this class. Not because I'm not articulate. CLEARLY, I am (you can't see it, but just imagine my sarcastic "sure I am" face here). But because I hate, HATE speaking in public. I get nervous, my voice wobbles and also? I talk with my hands, so no matter how nervous I am, I look even MORE nervous because of that.

I finally got over myself though. I was like, I don't even know these people...short of throwing up in front of the class, there's not really that much to be worried about because I will never see these people again.

...Yeah. Did you hear me tempting fate? I didn't. But apparently, just the thought was enough for Fate to slap me in the face. I got through my first speech, (about MOVIES, for God's sake...I know all about movies!) said something completely random because I was in no way prepared to stand up in front of 32 people and ramble on for 2 minutes. Whatever. I felt good about doing it without too much damage to my psyche.

Friday at work, I'm leaving Rounds (where I get to hear about each patient and every single one of their issues, medical, personal and anything worth gossiping about), the student shadowing one of the RN's stops me...
Aren't you taking Speech 1 @ random JC?
Me: Yes, I am.
Oh, me too. I thought you looked familiar...So I guess I'll see you on Monday here & in class.
Me: AWESOME.

So here's hoping that I don't party too hard and go to class drunk off my ass and really throw up in the middle of giving a speech, or say/do something completely ridiculous (wish me luck with THAT one, I'm sure going to need it), because now I'm going to be worried that my random assholery will be reported back to my co-workers.

What are the chances that I would take a random class at night and be enrolled a co-worker that is ONLY HERE FOR THE SUMMER? I suppose they're a lot higher than you'd think.

Fuck.

I guess it's an educational crapshoot

So today, I got THE call. The call that said the girl got into the school that I had been trying to get her into since she started middle school. I had been trying to get the brat into a magnet program since we moved back to California. She tested gifted, but, in the way of all schools in my district, they didn't have space for her.


So I did what most parents whose local schools are little more than daycares with books, mixed with gang violence do: I used a friend's address to get into a better school district. The brat's school is more than I could have hoped for: It's a California distinguished school, it's got an excellent curriculum, a music program, a theatre program, sports and other completely RANDOM extra-curricular activities. But (and it's a big BUT...even bigger than mine) it's FAR. FAR far away. AND she loves it there.


And because she does, I drive 25 miles AWAY from the direction that I go to work to take her to school, and then drive ANOTHER 20 miles to my place of employment. It's a long and boring trip, even if it IS along the beach. She takes the local bus home and I worry every single day until she calls me to let me know that she's made it. I've gotten off early, so that I could be there for plays, concerts and softball games. I've begged family members to pick her up early when she's gotten sick. I was so excited when school ended this year, I took the day off, just to remind myself what it was like not to have to drive her anywhere at the crack of dawn and then have to rush off to work.



Now....NOW they want to tell me that she's been accepted. Now that she's in her GRADUATING year, and she's got friends that she loves, a rhythm for school work and homework and she's EXCITED about the upcoming year....you tell me "Congratulations, even though you've been begging to get her in here for 2 years now, and she was smart enough the whole flippin' time, and now that she's comfortable where she is, we'd like to rip her from her school and friends to graduate with a bunch of strangers."



I wanted her to go to this school. I did. It's a good school, they've got a good program. But (there's that but again), what kind of heartless mom would I be to put her in this school to graduate? She's got her BFF, her plan to learn french, and her senior trip to look forward to. It would suck big fat ones to have to make new friends (the magnet school does NOT offer french and there would be no trip). To be honest, the only REAL difference is that the magnet school comes with a school bus. It's not even a BETTER school than the school she attends, in fact, her CURRENT school is better - they've got school books. Books for home, books for school, books! Books so that she doesn't have to drag home her body weight in a backpack. No photocopied pages because LA Unified is too cheap to buy more books. Which is probably not the case in the Magnet Program, but you get the picture.

Anyways, as much as I'd like to say eff it and let her be bussed to school, I just can't do it. I really just applied this last time because of habit. I would much rather her start a new school when she's got to start a new school (*gulp* HIGH SCHOOL) and not just at some random moment. She deserves to finish where she started..she's done 6th and 7th..she may as well get all the fanfare that goes along with graduating there. So I called the magnet school and said (not without some disgust), "Thank you, but no thank you."

Welllll....I can try again next year once she hits high school. Maybe THIS TIME, instead of blowing me off, she will get accepted right away and I can stop paying a 100 million dollars in gas carting her around and sleep an extra hour in the morning...and also maybe I will wake up having lost 30 lbs miraculously, have the cure for cancer, win the Nobel Peace Prize AND the Mega Millions.

It's probably got the same odds.