In case I never told you

It was fun.

I loved hanging out with you, giggling over inside jokes, doing ridiculous things like headstands in hotel rooms. Oscar Movie Madness, and happy hours, and Vegas trips. Loud ghetto laughs at inappropriate moments, Super Secret Trips of Awesome, surprise parties, BBQ's, karaoke, and marathon movie nights. Just Dance competitions, 2AM texts, and I Spy. Picture booths, water gun wars, and concerts. Helping me get pictures with rock stars. ESPECIALLY THIS.

Thank you.

For not judging me. Much. Even when I was obnoxious. Or weird. For lending me money, helping me clean. For your helpful assvice. For giving me a shoulder to cry on, or crying with me, when I needed it. For just being there when I didn't want to talk. For knowing when I needed what. For being honest with me. For sticking up for me when I couldn't/didn't do it for myself. For standing behind me looking all menacing and shit when I started popping off at the mouth. For loving me.

I'm sorry.

For hurting your feelings. Sometimes, I don't think before I speak. OR. I can be too blunt. Or mean, impatient, inconsiderate. I'm human. For getting so caught up in my life that I didn't call to see if you were okay. Or if you needed me. I can be selfish, and easily distracted. I wish that I had spent more time with you. I wish that I could take back that thing I said/did that hurt you.

I LOVE YOU.

I am blessed to have family and friends such as you. I have known you forever, and not quite as long. I met you when I was 5 years old, at work, walking to the bus stop, randomly, over the internets. I didn't know how fast we would click, how easily we would fall into friendship, how tightly we would hold on to each other. But I'm glad we did. I love you for loving me the way I am, for being able to read me like a book even when I haven't said a word. For being able to cheer me up when I haz a sad. For telling me things I need to hear, whether or not I wanted to hear them, sometimes without you even knowing it. I love you for being you.

If I never get the chance to say good-bye to you. I just wanted you to know today.

This is why opinions are like assholes...

Because everybody has one.

I have been told that I am not very black. Which...What does that even mean?

Who gets to decide how black is black? I'm not black enough because I grew up in the suburbs? Because I went to predominately white schools? Because I speak WELL (which is usually phrased as "you sound like you're white"...which is another thing I don't understand)? Because I prefer alternative music to hip hop? Because I go to Renaissance Faires?  BECAUSE I DON'T DO THINGS YOU THINK BLACK PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO?

The list goes on and on.

I grew up in the suburbs because my parents wanted to live there. At five years old, I was in no position to have opinion on where I lived. Also? I should mention that I have gone to schools catered to gifted type students for as long as I've been getting an education. Yes. I'm a super smart motherfucker. And on top of that, my father would pop me right in the mouth for saying things like "huh?" and "yeah". So there was additional incentive to speaking properly. And just because I PREFER alternative to hip hop, doesn't mean I don't ever listen to Jazz, or R&B, or even rap. If I feel like it. I go to Ren Faires because they're fun. And my mom used to take me when I was a kid growing up. And I am keeping the tradition going by taking my kid when the Ren Faire returns to Southern California.

But these things are neither here or there. Because I'm going to let you in on a little secret: There is no measuring stick on blackness. I am black; therefore, everything I do is something that a black person does. Even if that black person is just me.

I'm black because it's what my father is, and what my mother (mostly) is. Like most, I am a mixture of other things. But I identify MYSELF as black.

So who are you to tell me I'm not?

You can blame this rant on mochamomma and grace. And the fact that people can be assholes.