On turning 21...

So, I was going to write this heartfelt post because TODAY is my first baby’s birthday. And not just any birthday. TWENTY-ONE! He can LEGALLY buy liquor! But really that’s not such a milestone when you think about the fact that *I* have been buying liquor for myself since I was 16. Yeah, no wonder I got knocked up so early, right? But in fairness, I wasn’t drunk when I got pregnant…so there IS that.

Even though he doesn’t look anything like me, he is mine in temperament, in humor and intelligence. I gots me some brainy kids, y’all.

 

He’s got a wild side and he’s artistic. He cracks inappropriate jokes. He loves his mama.


He put me through a lot. But. I blame that on my mother’s curse. You know the one: “I hope that when you have kids, they put you through all the crap you put me through” He did. And then some.

He turned out to be a pretty decent kid. Still irresponsible (I’ve never met a kid who loses his phone SO. FUCKING. MUCH)…but then…so am I. He’s stubborn and determined to make his own way.

And I’m going to let him. Because he’s not my baby, anymore. He’s a man.



Happy Birthday, Boy.

Love you.

A Birthday Wish

This morning I had to come to work at 8AM. I am generally at work by 7-ish (I know! SO freakin’ early), but I decided to use that extra hour I could have slept in at the gym. After my not-quite-an-hour workout, I went home and got ready for work. USUALLY, as I’m walking out of the door, they’re just waking up. Because my normal routine was thrown off, I threw off everybody’s routine. The Man overslept, The Brat overslept, so he was trying to hustle her out the door for the bus.

Seems like a pretty normal-ish routine, right? It’s not though. It’s taken 20 years to get to a point where I’m waking up every night next to my husband. Because for the last 20 years, The Man has been an Active Duty Marine. What that means? It means he goes wherever the Marine Corps tells him to. Sometimes he’s home to eat cake & ice cream for one of the kids’ birthday, sometimes he’s just barely managed to squeeze in a 5 minute phone call before communication is shut down. There have been times when he was home so frequently that I WISHED he would go somewhere – anywhere, and times when I only wished he would come home. Yeah, the Marine Corps wife is a study in contradictions – we complain when they’re underfoot everyday and cry when they’re deployed.

He retired this year. So he’s home everyday now. He’s taken over getting The Brat off to school, and because he’s home, I decided to finish school, since somebody will be home with The Brat while I’m wasting away in class during the evenings. His military ID now says RETIRED. It’s different, but he is definitely getting used to not having to PT junior Marines at zero dark thirty (read: the ass crack of dawn). And I’m getting used to having him around to help with dinner. Plus, I get to call him my house bitch husband. I’m a real romantic.

As it happens, he DID manage to get her up & out on time. And before he did, I stopped him at the door, gave him a kiss and wished my Marine a Happy Birthday. 234 years old looks good on him.

Once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine

Semper Fi

The birthday post that's really not about birthdays but about how I am clearly clueless

Every year The Man surprises me for my birthday. This paying attention thing? I’m doing it wrong.

A couple of years ago for my birthday, my co-workers/friends took me to dinner after work to celebrate my birthday. When I got back to my car, it had disappeared. I IMMEDIATELY lost my buzz and started freaking out because OMG! MY-CAR-JUST-GOT-STOLEN-FROM-WORK-IN-THE-PARKING-GARAGE-AND-HOW-IN-THE-HELL-AM-I-GONNA-EXPLAIN-THIS?! It’s a 6 floor structure, so I checked up a floor and down a floor because even though I usually park in the exact same spot every day, I was drunk, so maybe I thought that I was off a floor? I was certainly HOPING so because I didn’t want to go home and say, hey err…honey, my car got stolen while I was out drinkin’.

My cousin (who was in on the “surprise”) says to me. Just hit the alarm button…and before I could say “But I don’t have an alarm button” she hit one and THAT’S how I found out I got a new car. It was stuffed with balloons and yes I cried like a little girl.

A few days ago, my sister told me she was taking me to a Pirate Adventure – type place (which... I've been to, and I loved). But for adults. Wear a pirate costume…which I umm..conveniently have already. So after a day of pancakes, and bowling and drinking (oh my!) I left the house still pretty drunk and my sissie, well... she called her friend who told her that she would meet us at the place with the tickets. Didn’t even occur to me to wonder where the heck I was going but I guess I should have because.... It was a surprise party. For me.


That’s me wondering WTF. I was so drunk surprised that it took me a second to realize what was happening.

There were cupcakes

And drinking…

And friends

God, I love my friends.

I even love The Man, even though I'm pretty sure one of these days he's going to scare me right into a heart attack.

Message to the Man

Happy Birthday Honey! You are 233 years old today. Looking pretty good for an old guy.

This weekend we are going out to celebrate in Marine Corps style, you in your blues (damn, do I love a man in uniform), me in a fancy dress to do you proud. We are gonna impress the shit out of everybody! And then, we are going to eat shitty ball room food...listen to the Commendant's message and eat some cake. Because it's your birthday!

I'm going to let you do Jack Daniel shots until they stop buying them for you, I'm going to let you buy drinks for other Marines, and I will do my best to keep you out of trouble, while drinking copious amounts of liquor myself (because I am a Marine Corps wife, I learned early to keep up or shut up). And later I will do that thing you like, if you're not so drunk that it's all I can do to pour you into bed. Because it's your birthday.

I have been with you from Kuwait to Okinawa to Afghanistan. And I've never been any prouder of you than I am right now for becoming one of the few.

Semper Fi,

Your loving wife.

Cake CAN get you drunk.

I did it. Yesterday, I made a birthday cake. I couldn't decide. What kind of cake was I going to make? I was going to go to the store, and get some fancy icing, maybe a cake pan, ooohh and some of those sugar crystals to decorate. But. Well, I didn't. I finally based my decision on what I already had on hand. Lemon cake mix. And tequila.

Originally, the plan was to make a cake SHAPED like a patron bottle, because after all it was 1) a party for a grown up and 2) how DO you make a cake with tequila in it, is that even possible?

Well, turns out in the world of internets, ANYTHING is possible! Even a tequila cake. LOL. It was actually called a MARGARITA CAKE, but let's face it...the best thing about a margarita, is the tequila.

So I hoped for the best and used me a brand new, never been tried before recipe for a cake to use THAT SAME EVENING. Yeah, I'm crazy optimistic. And then, because it wasn't good enough to try random recipe, I also dug up a random recipe for icing...made a bunch of changes and used THAT.

The result?

Ta-da! Was it made with real Patron? Oh yeah, only the best. Even in the icing. That I made myself. Yeah, I'm a kick ass baker. It was real, and it was FABULOUS.

The bonus? Didn't have to spend so much on the drinking, because the icing was 80 proof.

Yeah, it was a happy birthday.

How do I top it?

Last year my friend wanted to go the Saddle Ranch for her birthday. It's a fun place to go hang out, it's got a mechanical bull and very friendly waiters (especially if you've got a table of pretty girls).





Most of our friends got her gift certificates. For clothes, for Bath & Body type stuff, for music. Me, I got her something different. I told her that since she was the baby of our little group, I'd bring the cake. What KIND of cake? This kind:



Yeah. I made her the cute kiddie cake. It involved AirHeads, and JELLO and teddy grahams (oh my!). And let me tell you, it was crazy tasty. I found the recipe in some random magazine, actually, I BOUGHT the magazine because of the picture of this cake on the front, but I never would have thought I'd be making it for a almost 30 year old woman.

So now, it's birthday time again. This year: Lucky Strike Bowling Alley - bowling for adults... this isn't your momma's bowling alley, ladies. And now I have a request for a new birthday cake. That's what I get for being all creative and shit.

So now I gotta figure out what kind of cake to make now. A cake shaped like a bottle of patron? Shaped like a gumball machine? One with sparkles and smoke and mirrors, hell, I dunno. I got a few weeks. Maybe I'll post it once I figure it out. Wish me luck!