Friday, April 3, 2009

Who's down with OPP?

(That would be Other People's PROBLEMS...I'm a married woman, you know)

The man & I have a very close friendship with another couple. Of our group of friends, they have probably come the closest to having been married anywhere NEAR as long as we have. The Man and his friend have been friends since birth, their moms were preggers around the same get the idea...

The wife? We hit it off immediately; it was like finding a long lost sister.

And then? Do you remember a little story about a girl that cried divorce? Well, this is her. Their relationship? Imploded. And I don’t mean in a we-had-an-argument-that-just-shows-its-time-to-move-on way. I mean, it was explosive. There was crying, and drama and cops*! (Oh my). Obviously I can’t tell allll her business but she doesn’t have a blog and I do and for a while there I thought that maybe if I didn't say something was going to explode and not in the wow-that-was-awesome-wake-me-in-20-minutes way (nudge nudge..wink wink. I'm such a dude sometimes) but as in there was gonna be bits & pieces of brain matter all over the walls because my head completely exploded from listening to the craziness that was somebody ELSE’S life.

The Man says Hey you! Don't get involved. It’s gonna get ugly.
Me: Nah, I'm not going to get involved. I'm just listening. (and listening, and listening...)
And then..Me: He did what?! (see what just happened there? I'll bet you can guess)

Instead of just listening, I got involved. Even though I said I wouldn't. And even though The Man claimed he wouldn't get mad if I got involved "because that's what girls do". He did.

I ended up getting mad at everybody. Mad at The Man’s BFF for being a jackass, mad at the long lost sis for being weak…mad at myself for taking this all personally, I’m even mad at The Man, mostly because while he wasn’t completely RIGHT about me getting involved, He wasn’t completely WRONG either. Because getting a little bit involved turned out to be like being a little bit pregnant. And lemme tell you, I have a 19 year old AND a 13 year old. I don’t even want to have a passing acquaintance with pregnant. I’ve raised all the kids that I plan to, and that includes grown people acting like 3 year olds.

And then after a couple of sleepless nights, I woke up, literally. THIS was not my fight. I can be sympathetic, I can be angry at the situation, I can listen… I cannot BE long lost sis. She’s going to have to be the one to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. I got my own issues to deal with, I sure as hell don't need hers.

As for my opinions, which, you know..are LEGION…?I’m going to keep them to myself. Because six months down the road, when the two of them are back in “love” , and she is no longer trying to play the divorce card (again), you know who’s going to be the bad guy? The friend that told her that her (in)significant other was not just an asshole, but quite possibly the WHOLE ASS. Not that I would ever SAY that. Heh. (but he is…really.)

*I think it’s a little weird that makes TWO times where there was police involvement, and I didn’t see it coming either time. I guess you never really know you’re gonna need the cops, until you do. On the other hand, nobody’s ever called the cops on ME, so I guess I can be grateful for that. Then again, third time's the charm. 

**Also, thank you for listening while I verbally vomited all over my blog. But, like when you hurl in real life (except for when you have like some horrible tummy virus and you just barf and barf and you feel like you're never gonna stop & you end up curled in a ball around the toilet hoping for death, sweet death), I feel loads better now that I got it all out. 

Next post, my Prince concert, and why he was awesome even though he didn't sing darling nikki.


Anonymous said...

Love the big girl panty thing very you

Laural Out Loud said...

I learned the hard way about everything you say coming back to bite you in the ass after they fall back in love. Forget that. Let 'em duke it out and tell you when it's over.

Aimeepalooza said...

Oh yup. Messy, messy. I also learned the hard way to not be involved when a couple fights...guess who's still a couple but neither are our friends anymore?!

raino said...

good advice for us all. thanks for that....