I have so many things to tell you, but let me start with last night...

I do. I have a LOT OF THINGS to tell you.
My husband turned 40 the other day, The Boy turned 21 and then I took him to Vegas stories. But. I've been busy. Or am lazy. Not sure which. Either way.

Last night I went to the Slide Bar in Fullerton for Rockers in the Round. Last minute gig that a facebook friend mentioned. And me, thinking OH I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT WORK TOMORROW decided, yes. It sounds like a GREAT IDEA. That's me, y'all. I am full of it GREAT IDEAS.

ANYWAYS. So even though I have a whole lot of stories that I want to tell you guys. I'm going to tell you this one. Because I sent an e-mail to my friends about last night. Which, pretty much is a post. So. Enjoy:

Subject: A few things

1. I went last night. It was FUN.

2. Chris was walking around ordering drinks at the bar AND NOBODY NOTICED HIM BUT ME AND SARAH.
     a. I did not drink. Because I was in FULLERTON. BY MAHSELF
3. Then he stopped to talk to us. At some point I said, “See how much I love you? I’m going to be here until AFTER midnight, and I have to be at work at 7:30 IN. THE. MORNING.” (He says, well, I have to take my kids to school in the morning, so I feel your pain. And thank you for coming out. REALLY)
4. He’s SO. SWEET.
5. The people who go frequent that bar are some sketchy looking characters. FO SHO
6. The opening band “something 257” SUCKED. HARD.
     a. Their drummer didn’t have any legs.
     b. No. REALLY. Wheelchair.
     c. And now I’m dying to know how he played the drums because we left during their set (see #3)
7. I got home at 2AM
8. He also said to be on the lookout for more random shows.
9. Oh yeah:

Me. Chris Shiflett

(I'm not going to explain. Because you should know)

BOOYAH!

I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!!!!!

My friend lives here:

No. Not the red dot. Down and to the left: Okinawa. She's a Marine wife who talked her husband into doing an overseas tour. Me, I've moved all over these United States in the name of the Marine Corps...but I've never got to live in a place where I didn't speak the language (except Bah-ston. But that's because they're doing it wrong. It's PEA-body, not Peabdy. JERKS.).

Whateva. The wonderful thing about being part of the Marine Corps family? Going to visit friends all over the world. When my friend moved, I told her that was DEFINITELY going to come and visit, because who wouldn't want to go visit a friend whose casa es mi casa all the way in Japan? (Gimme a break. I speak Spanish, y'all. I don't know how to say "my house is your house" in Japanese)

COMPLETELY UNRELATED SIDENOTE: Have I ever mentioned The Brat's boner for ALL THINGS JAPANESE? Because she's got one. A big huge one. She listens to J-pop (and K-pop) watches anime in japanese. She decided in middle school that she wanted to learn japanese. EVEN when it involved taking a class at 7AM. And considering that she’d rather sleep until noon than eat, that's dedication. And? She’s REALLY good. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom and she's better than your kid at EVERYTHING. She's pretty bad ass. When she found out that I was going to go visit my friend in Okinawa, she said that I was either going to take her, or she was going to set all of my clothes on fire   hide in my suitcase.

So there I was, looking for tourist traps attractions for The Brat and me. My friend has already said she'll be taking that time off, so that she can be our tour guide.  You know how you start looking for stuff and then you just follow the random links and then you end up somewhere interesting that you didn't even know you wanted to be until you saw THAT. Guess what THAT was y'all? THAT was Disneyland in TOKYO.

YOU GUYS? I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT THERE WAS A DISNEYLAND IN JAPAN.*

So NOW, I'm detouring to Tokyo where we're going to Disneyland with a side of Harajuku, and maybe I can even sneak in some culture and shit.

OMG, I'm going to Disneyland!!!


*I haven't even been to Disneyland in California in YEARS, but OMG, there is no way I'm not going to Disneyland in another fucking country. Also? Now that I remembered that there are Disneylands all over the world, I'm adding Disneyland Paris and Hong Kong to my list. BOO-YAH!!

** And, yes. I asked The Man did he want to go. His response: I've already been to Okinawa and I never want to go back. Have fun. Take pictures.

I did...

talk my girl friend into taking a day off to spend with me at Ditch Friday at the Palms Pool in Las Vegas.

pack too many clothes.

go to Lush and stock up on bath bombs...

let somebody give me tequila that had been smuggled down to the pool in a Bud Light can AFTER he took a shot first (I'm crazy y'all...not stupid).

send drunk texts to @undomesticdiva. Because she likes it.

take a picture of a guy's tattoo that looks suspiciously like a penis.

have a blast at Haze with @justonemiss @rewritingkel and the birthday girl: @redlotusmama

buy a shot for a Marine. Related: I also took a picture of his tattoo, because it was badass (he was Suicide Charley and you have to be a Marine to understand), and then sent that picture to The Man.

hug an Soldier who had just gotten back from Iraq.

NOT play any craps. (Boo!)

lose my money at the roulette table.

do a loud ghetto laugh just as the plane got silent.

NOT wear make-up to the pool.Waterproof mascara does not count.

break both of @sistuhgurl's flip flops at the same time. Damn, I'm clumsy. Related: I *did* get a guy to fix them for me.

find out who took the picture of me and Santa from the original #VegasBB

photobomb some pictures.

laugh a lot this weekend

wish some of you were there... <3

A gift and a bunch of other stuff

My friend Mo wants to go to Vegas for a girl's weekend to celebrate her birthday. Yeah, I know. Me? Another Vegas trip? Hard to believe. /sarcasm. ANYWHOOTS, she invited a couple of her cousins...and she's hoping that we'll all get along. We've all been sending facebook messages fast & furious-like because we're all kind of excited to run away from home and hang out for the weekend. So I decided to send her an e-mail, mostly to tell her that me & MLB bought her a t-shirt. But I decided to tell her some other stuff while I was at it.

============================================

Hey Mo!

I’m so excited that we’re going to Vegas. AGAIN. I’m bringing my flask. And filling it with Vodka. Also, I will TRY not to pick any fights (I will leave that to MLB or maybe "The Drunk Mo". Kidding...Sorta.). I will try not to get so drunk that I wander off, but if he’s cute, please allow me to wander as far as the nearest bar for another drink, please & thank you.


Also, Mo, because we love you, and you didn’t want to spend your Vegas money on it – we bought you a shirt. Happy Birthday, bitch. (In case you're wondering, mine says "I'm the married one". What are the chances it will stop the cute boys from buying me drinks?My guess? Slim to none.) We’re wearing them on Saturday.

I hope your cousins are aware that your friends are rude, crude and socially unacceptable… and that we like to drink, flirt and say inappropriate (and sometimes politically incorrect) things.

Please feel free to forward this e-mail as a warning ...as an F your I.

Wuv u.

Am I an awesome friend or what?

My Weekend (In Pictures)

Friday

J.Ho

Saturday

Sunday (Happy Mother's Day!)

And if you're wondering about Monday...

Super Secret Trip of Awesome

You know what I had planned last weekend? Nothing. Enter Grace, Holly, Biddy and Super Jules and their  talk of their #SSTOA cluttering up my twitter stream. Being the inquisitive person that I am,  I finally found they had chosen San Diego for a Super Secret Trip of Awesome. Y'all are going to San Diego for the weekend?  Do I want to come hang for the weekend? No. I can't.  Because I had shit (read: work) to do.

BUT. I *can* crash one day of your super secret trip.

Hey there! I crash your party; I sleep on your couch.

But at least I brought Rum. (Bacardi Peach Red). Because what kind of party crasher shows up empty handed?

Stories of the strangest mani/pedi evar can be found here. Ridiculous anthropological (is that even a word?) studies of douchebags are here, and random events here and even here.

W.T.F?!*

What can I possibly add to describe how awesome this super secret trip was? I could talk about how we all piled into a cab like college kids in a phone booth and hid SuperJules AS COPS WATCHED US. Or about how even though SuperJules couldn't have been any more precise, taxi cab drivers do not understand her. It's like she was speaking another language. One nobody understood.

Is that why she was so angry?*

OR even how, after dinner my food started attacking my innards and made me leave the douchetastic outing before my food ejected itself from my stomach, which it was most definitely was going to do before my night was over(damn you, you oversensitive stupid tummy).

Why was this dude trying to put me in a headlock?*

And how cute Biddy was worrying about me going back to the condo solo. OR? About the even more super secret field trip as we got lost on the way to the airport. (You know what's really awesome? Being a Marine's wife and therefore being able to get on ANY BASE IN THE COUNTRY) AND I came home with a bottle of Vodka, and (yo, ho ho) TWO bottles of Rum.

But you know, really? It was just a bunch of girls having some drinks*.

*these photos stolen from Grace and/or Biddy.

Vegas Birthday Bash....

Not my birthday....

But who am I to turn down an invitation to hang out with some bloggers...and twitterpaters in Las Vegas.

I'm all packed...FINALLY, got my hair did, took my picture, got my camera and my cell phone (because how else am I going to drunk twitter/text?). I'm already on a plane.

And do you know what I'm going to do when I get to Vegas?

And this time, whatever happens in Vegas will probably be twittered all over the fucking place.

Let's go to the movies

I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned before how much I love movies...I've seen some good stuff like Michael Clayton, to some pretty bad stuff like this one, but it's so bad it's GOOD, y'all. But I don't watch blood & guts. So no The Ring, or Saw #937 (why are there so MANY of these Saw movies?)

When I was younger, I would see a couple of movies a week, at LEAST. I had a friend that worked at the movie theatre and I was pregnant, so I had lots of hours to kill in the daytime. And even pregnant, there was only SO MUCH TIME I was going to spend sleep or stuck in the house, I figured a moving picture was a good compromise of getting out, but not doing too much. I had been given the sentence of "bed rest" early in my pregnancy, so it was more like jail time as opposed to real rest and/or relaxation.

When I married, I worked at Tower Records where I could be around my two loves: Music and Movies --and it's also where I was introduced to porn. Weird. Go figure. Anyhooters, from there I rented a movie or two a night and moved on to building a MASSIVE movie collection (Damn you DVDs for being all streamlined and SMALL and making my 350+ VHS tapes a big gigantic pain in my ass because where the eff am I supposed to STORE that many freaking tapes and now The Man wants to COPY them all to DVD and I told him he must be out of his damn mind if he thinks that I've got the kind of free time to make something like this happen...and so now I'm buying a bajillion DVDs and just hope he hasn't noticed that I've just started replacing my Disney videos with Disney DVDs)

And I don't see as many movies as I'd like any more, I've got stuff like LIFE getting in the way and I have a list of movies that I want to see that is a mile long, BUT...but I am going to go the the SUPERBOWL of movies. I'm going to the Best Picture Showcase!

I am going to the movies next month to see ALL FIVE Oscar nominated movies. I'm going to put on my comfy pajama pants (I know. But I'm going to be at the movies for at least TWELVE HOURS and that's a long time to be wearing skinny jeans while eating my weight in popcorn and drinking a ocean's worth of water/pop) and bring my own milk duds, and maybe hot cheetos. I just love hot cheetos. And watch Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader , and Frost/Nixon, with breaks thrown in for the potty and food.

I’m excited. The first time I did it, I was a concerned that it would be too much. I hadn’t seen more than two movies in a row since my movie-hopping days. (Hey, movies are EXPENSIVE..and I figured since I’m already HERE…) But it was a lot of fun. Even the ones I didn’t LOVE were so good I could see why they were nominated. And I could even have an informed opinion on which movie I thought was better and why, you know.. just in case somebody from the Academy gets sick/dies/doesn’t vote and at the last minute they need a pinch hitter to come in and break a tie for the Best Picture and not just anybody, but somebody who KNOWS Oscar movies. Somebody who has seen every movie and has analyzed every nuance of each film…

…Or, maybe I’m just somebody who wants to kill a whole entire day watchin’ movies & eating bon bons in her pj’s with her girl friends, with a pillow so her ass doesn’t get too sore and a box of tissue. I hear that Slumdog Millionaire is a tearjerker.