I'm your pusher baby...

I often talk about my love for shoes. Because I *do* love shoes. The high heeled kind. Because they make my legs look georgeous (What? It's true. Would you prefer me to be less than honest?) AND ALSO because they make me feel sexy. Which. Hello? Why wouldn't I want to feel sexy?

But I have another love. Make up. I love lamp make up. I do.

For a lot of years I got by on eyeliner and lipstick. Which, I rocked. OBVIOUSLY. And I would save the eyeshadows for fancy occasions, you know... The Marine Corps Ball. Which was maybe the beginning of my addiction. First I needed make up for the Ball. After all, I couldn't go barefaced. So another military wife and I would hit the M.A.C. counter, say, "So, I'm going to this fancy shingdig and I need something on my face. And please. Don't make me look like a drag queen. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Then, I bought some shadow I could wear everyday. You know, neutral shades and stuff. But the more you wear, the more you want. And after all, look at this pretty GREEN eyeshadow and why wouldn't I want that, but then I needed something to go with it, and I could wear this to work...and I have this friend who enabled my habit because SHE is an addict and...and the next thing you know... hello make up junkie.

So now, I have this friend. She has some basic make up. You know... neutral, wear everyday colors. She says to me, "I wish I had more colors that I could use. But I'm not even sure where to start." Me? "Oh, let me send you a little something." (She lives in another country AND I was already mailing her a box of goodies)

She got one of her boxes the other day:

picture stolen from Coastal Scents.

Too much?

If you give a mouse a cookie...

He's gonna want some milk.

I was in need of some work pants. I’ve been fighting it because in my fight against the flab, buying pants in a larger size would be defeat. And I am nothing if not a sore loser. ANYWAYS, I decided I needed to buy at least a pair of pants because, really, I mostly wear dresses to work (so much easier to pretend I hadn’t put on 10 lbs). And I found two pair. Two pair of pants ON SALE for $30. NIIICE. Okay. I’m heading toward the door…

Errr…are those bathing suits? I don’t NEED a bathing suit, I have one I’ve never worn from last year. Put that down. LOOK at those shirts though. That’s nice. Goes with the pants. (I’ll be honest. I have 100 bajillion tops. 3,000,000 sweaters, and 90,000 tank tops. I don’t know where to put it all) But, here I am. Because if I’m going to buy new pants, I should get a shirt to go with these pants and that one is SO CUTE. So, I grab that one.

I’m still heading toward the door. But then, I see a green top. Sort of peasant-y. Thin, short sleeved. So me. Also so cute. And I grab that too. Because remember? I bought TWO pair of pants. And speaking of green? Did I mention that green is my favorite color? I have these green HEELS, but I still can’t wear them, so basically, what I’m saying is: I don’t have any green shoes to go with my shirt. Luckily though, THEY’VE got green wedges that are perfect.

So. If I go to the store for pants, I’m going to need tops and now that I’ve got tops and pants..I need shoes to make it all work. Now I’ve got 2 very cute outfits, and shoes.

Anybody got any cookies?

Can I still call it Christmas shopping?

This week, I was under the weather (a slight understatement; I was a stuffed up, coughing, puffy-eyed, cootie-covered MESS), so I didn’t get a chance to do any Christmas shopping.

When Friday rolled around, feeling mostly better after being in a Nyquil induced haze for 2 days straight, I figured I was feeling good enough to attend my Girls Night Out Christmas Party. This usually includes, food, games, drinking –but no DRINKING GAMES (three words: Shots and Ladders. Four more: Just don’t do it) and the giving of gifts.

So I figured I better get out there and get my gift. We do our gift giving White Elephant style, with a $25 max spending limit. Because we love each other, but we are not rich.

I hadn’t decided what I wanted to get, which is unfortunate, because I can be indecisive at the best of times, let alone still foggy brained from too much Nyquil. (Am I a typical Libra? You be the judge.) My cousin sends me to Pier 1. “You should be able to find something there”. Famous last words. I found plenty:

A gift for my niece. A cookie decorating kit. Comes with Iced cookies and edible markers for her to draw on her cookies. So cute.

Twisted Martini glasses. For Me.

Hot Chocolate set for my girl friend’s daughter...

White Hot chocolate in Snow Man Jar. For Me... Noticing a trend anyone?

Know what I DIDN’T get? A white elephant gift. So I decide to go over to Sephora, because I didn’t see anything over at Pier 1 (Ha!)

Oh look.

Two-faced World Domination Tour. For Me. I've always wanted to take over the world.

Okay, Okay… I found the gift! It’s cute. It’s girly. It’s Smashbox Lip gloss. Because we don’t all wear eye make-up, but every lip is always covered. And I also spy with my eagle eye NARS Nail Polish. In a variety of dark & sexy colors. So I grab a handful and rush to the register before I can do any more damage to the checkbook. (Yeah, I totally blew the max limit…but hey, I love my girls).

But not quick enough:
For me.

Oh, the joys of giving to myself to OTHERS...

Why Target is the Devil

So I'm leaving town tomorrow. Gotta fly down south to attend a funeral. And with all the new fangled RULES about what I can fly with, I figure I will just go get some travel sized crap to shove in my bag.





I have a unreasonable, deep & unabated hate for WalMart, so that leaves me with Target. And while the Target by my house is ghetto fabulous, it's STILL better than the WalMart of Death (because the WALMART by my house is both ghetto AND dangerous). Anyways, I head in with my list

1. soap
2. lotion
3. toothpaste
4. sunblock
5. mouthwash
6. floss

Bonus! I get to ride in one of those driveable carts because I'm crippled and can't be hobbling all over the Target on crutches. Good Times y'all. I only once knocked over a whole row of purses because I was trying to get the hang of steering.

But I digress. I went in for a few .99 cent items because I didn't want TSA throwing away my fancy soap/lotion. And I DID get that stuff. But while I was there, I thought I would look at flip flops, and then saw THE UNTOUCHABLES on sale for $7.00, so in the cart it goes. Oh, and they DO have flip flops: in blue and green. I'll take those, I've been looking for green shoes. As we are making our way back to the register...Ohhhh...look at THAT dress, it's white and it's got POCKETS! And that cute shirt, in green? Good, then it will match my flip flops. My "driver" several thousand paperback books, a dress and a cute purse. None of which she had PLANNED to purchase, she was just taking me since I don't drive.

Got that? SO. I went in for all that stuff I told you about earlier AND: travel size shaving gel, q-tips, eye liner, white dress with pockets, cute greet shirt, flip flops (2), The Untouchables, and tic tacs (because they are so very yummy). Cost of my supposedly quick trip? $80.00

Damn you Target, you did it again. You with your sneaky low prices that add up, and cute clothes and make up. You know I can't live without eyeliner. And if I'm going to go see The Man's country cousins, I have to be up on my game presentable. But damn you for making it too easy to buy pretty dresses I don't need because I was already mostly packed AND had remembered NOT to pack my "Tu eres un pendejo" Tshirt because it was inappropriate, even though I'm pretty sure none of them speak any spanish. And I hate you because of all your cute shoes I didn't buy because I have a hot pink cast on my foot, so patent leather anykindofshoe would be just plain crazy. Oh wait, no...THANK YOU, because that would have added another $50 to the cost of this trip.