Monday, January 11, 2010

What I do when I miss phone calls

...from people who are calling me from another freakin' country.

I send e-mails.

Hey, Girlie!
  1. Missed you, again! Drat. I tried to pick up my phone and hit END instead of TALK, and since you didn’t call back….
  2. I went to my cousin's birthday dinner where this happened.
  3. In other news, I’m a CONE and my sister, an hourglass (duh.)
  4. I guess the working out is working because
    • I look slimmer in my clothes, but
    • Because I’m PMS’ing I’ve been eating lots of junk all weekend and so,
    • The numbers on the scale have NOT moved at all, except up, BUT
    • I’m sure at the end of my cycle, they will have gone down significantly
  5. Today is The Man's Bday, so I “wished him a happy birthday” instead of going to the gym, which also made me late for work. 
  6. I went to Mo’s house this weekend, where she gave the Brat a shit ton of clothes from her niece who apparently only wears things once or twice before moving on to new clothes.
    • Also WTF is up with skirts so tiny that I'm pretty sure they cover NOTHING?! If you need to wear leggings under them to make sure your twat isn't being exposed, what you really need is a LONGER SKIRT. #justsayin
    • And yes, you know I vetoed any item that made the baby's ass hang out.
    • Not that I had to because Mo was already all "ix-nay on the ooty-bay orts-shay"
  7. While I was there I realized the Brat is REALLY TINY because after eating 4 slices of pizza and mojo potatoes, she tried on a pair of size 0 shorts OVER HER JEANS  and they fit (I also realized that I hate Brat a little bit…LOL).
Soo, how was your weekend? How's the hubs? Did he get to see the Ravens get with the Pats?

And yes, I really did send out this e-mail (added a few things, but she'll visit here and she'll recognize her e-mail). So. How was YOUR weekend? Do anything interesting?


Kori said...

Size ZERO? Over jeans? I wasn't a size zero when I was BORN. yikes.

Um, good to see you, nothing happened at my house over the weekend, etc....

Anonymous said...

I know you are talking to me
Happy birthday Mr B. Your boy joined a Jazz band out in town. Lynette, my week end was nice we had parents night out had dinner and walked around. I was once a hourglass but I look more like a ruler now that my tummy is so big. I have lost 2.5 lbs. So once I add some movement into my life I should be ok.

JustOneMiss said...

I just loved that you used bullet points in your email to your friend. That's so many levels of awesome.