Monday, March 23, 2009

I can't afford it

Ticket scalpers, ticket scalpers
Why are you so mean?
You take $50 tickets
And price them so obscene

I just wanna see my favorite band
Sing my favorite songs
I don’t want triple-priced
Does that make me so wrong?

But no!
$100, $200 to $800 or more
I’d need a second job
Probably as the corner whore
(after all…they make pretty decent money and no taxes)

If you’d give real fans a chance
To buy some decent seats
Ticketmonster is bad enough
With crazy “convenience” fees

Do you have to get in on the action?
Selling out concerts super fast…
YOU jack the prices crazy high
While real fans take it up the ass

So F.U. ticket scalper
For the things you do
To keep the prices high
Now….do you have tickets for U2?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What didn't I do in Vegas

So this weekend I was in Vegas. Along with a bajillion other people, mostly cops. This weekend was Baker to Vegas weekend. That would be when every law enforcement agency in California gets all competitive and has a race from Baker, California to Las Vegas to see who’s really badass. So if you were inclined to do something illegal, that was probably the time. NOT that I would recommend that. But they had to be short staffed is all I’m sayin’.

Moving on…I stayed at the Luxor. Which is my favorite hotel in Vegas. (Do you think if I mention that I puffy heart & rainbows the Luxor enough times, they will hook me up with a free stay?) I got a good deal on my room AND I talked them into putting our rooms together…and more importantly we were close to the elevator. Which is always good ‘cause hello? I’m going to be drinking. I don’t wanna walk far.

My whole plan was to twitter while I was there in Vegas, but yeah. I was drinking. So… so much for THAT plan.

I was also going to meet up with my cousin & his wife while I was there since apparently HE was there for the weekend too. Heh. Didn’t do that either.

And then? Meet up with an old co-worker who now LIVES in Vegas. (Sensing a trend anybody?)

Got a ticket to do one of those surveys where they make you watch TV for ½ hour and then try to see if you remember any of the commercials..Didn’t make time for that either.

I DID however go to a place call Tacos & Tequila in the Luxor, where I had breakfast AND margaritas, and got to listen to a pretty awesome Mariachi Band that took requests. You know I had two: Mariachi Loco! an Por tu maldita amor (the most awesome song ever, and I dare you to say different)

I DIDN’T take pictures however. Because I’ve been too lazy to go shopping for a digital camera. But somebody did. Maybe they’ll get around to sending me some. Maybe I’ll have picture that I won’t be embarrassed to post. Psht. Who am I kidding..? I don’t have any shame.

Good times had by all. And I’m doing it again in a few months. wh00t!

By the way....I also didn’t drink free for 2 nights straight because cops love to buy pretty girls drinks OR get back in my room as people were getting up for breakfast OR flirt uncontrollably OR have the biggest breakfast ever and then start having jello shots because no matter how full you are, turns out there’s always room for jello.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Can I be late to my own party?

So it turns out this is my 103rd post. Apparently, while I was (as usual) not paying attention, I blew right past my 100th post. No big huge announcement, no confetti came shooting out of my computer or nuthin’. You’d think that since it’s such a big deal they’d a threw me a party or something. I guess this is the equivalent of turning 21 in the blogging world. I’M A BIG GIRL NOW bloggy friends. I’ve made it past the 100th mark.

Anyways, I heard the accepted thing is 100 things about me, but uh…I’m not that interesting. So how about some random junk?

1. I got my first tattoo when I was 18. I worked in Hollywood as a telemarketer, and one day, on my way to my car, I stopped in and got a tattoo of The Man's name (no, we weren’t married yet -He in turn, went out and got my name tattooed across his heart. True Love. ). That tattoo shop had a GINORMOUS live snake crawling around. I never told my Mom. She found out a year later when went shopping and I was trying on clothes.

2. I have a (sub)total of five tattoos. 2 on the left, 2 on the right and one in the middle. I didn't want to be heavier with more ink on one side.
I don't have a picture of the one on my shoulder. But I've got one there too. And I want 2 more.

3. When I married The Man, I had no idea that I was signing up for the Marine Corps too. I've had to get up at 3AM to take him down to formations, my presence is required at Formal functions, I've moved almost everywhere the Man was (my favorite? Honolulu), I was his support when he was overseas and I even attended most of his re-enlistment ceremonies.

4. I love to go to Vegas. I’m going this weekend. And then, in a few months, I’m going back for a concert.

5. Concerts in Vegas are the best.

6. This year I already have tickets for No Doubt and Depeche Mode. I’m going to sell my youngest child for U2 tickets, or maybe Prince if he actually has concert dates and not random places where I can’t see him because I don’t have enough time to make arrangements. (I’m still a little bitter at his Oscar after-party. Really? What about your fans who DON’T live in Hollywood? I’m good, but even I don’t fight the Oscar traffic)

7. I get up to go to gym at 4:30-5ish. Depends on how long I stumble around trying to wake up.

8. I go to bed “I’m 90 years old” early. I frequently fall asleep before the Brat; whose bedtime is official bedtime is 9PM. I’m sure she sometimes stays up later, but she just better hope I don’t wake up and find her still awake.

9.I own this shirt.
I totally believe it.

10. I’ve never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight (Name that movie quote!) But I once danced with a guy who 2 months later murdered his girlfriend & then had a stand off with the police in a cemetery. (I was completely surprised that he was crazy..he seemed so normal)

11. My husband only believes 2/3 of the things I tell him.

12. Maybe because 1/3 of the stuff I tell him is bullshit.

13. Maybe not.

14. I’m dying to go to Spain, Italy & France. But my friend lives in Okinawa, so I’m going to go crash on her couch and probably cook, because I don’t like Japanese food. (But I will probably love sightseeing. Please pencil me in for next summer!) I’ll probably still make it to Spain and Italy AND France.

15. I’m an ultra-picky eater raising human garbage disposals. I don’t like lettuce or nuts and I won’t eat anything I haven’t smelled first. My kids eat almost everything. (The Boy doesn’t like potatoes (weird, right?) not even fries and The Brat won’t drink milk. But she loves yogurt AND cheese)

16. I’m also an inappropriate laugher. I once started laughing uncontrollably at my god-daughters baptism. I couldn’t stop even though my husband was squeezing my hand so tight I almost lost feeling in it (His “gentle reminder” to stop that g.d. laughing. It didn't work)

17. I have a pretty awesome shoe collection. Unfortunately I can’t wear most of them because of an accident that crippled me, and so I am wearing flats until my foot is fully healed. (Hurry up, foot! I wanna buy me some new shoes)

I didn’t number this one because how can you have a random post with an even number. If I ever decide to write some MORE random junk (yah, like everything I write is not random), then I guess I can start at 18. Unless I don’t feel like it. Then you’ll have to count however many more random things I write and add 17.

Did I mention I was goin’ to Vegas? ‘Cause I am. Carry on.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Not really a fan

Dear Beyonce,

I'm going to be honest. I don't like you very much, but mostly because you're EVERYWHERE. I don't know why you have to be in every other commercial: Loreal, American Express. You're a pretty good singer. Really. I even paid too much money to take The Brat to see you in your "kicking Destiny's Child to the curb Final Tour". Sorry, I digress. I've come to a sort of stalemate. I won't change the radio station should you happen to come on (but let's face it, you very RARELY never come on my local rock station, and I very rarely listen to the R & B station).

MOVING ON..This weekend, I was at my SIL's house (for my niece's sleepover, and OMG those kids were some kind of hoochie and sassy and if any of the brat's friends had been all smart-mouthed like those girls I'd probably been writing this froma jail cell for child abuse. Sorry. Digressing again) and she had me watch your Diva video. Actually, I watched a Diva video of Sasha Fierce. Really. Bey? I feel I can shorten your name because I've seen you practically naked, and that should allow me not to stand on ceremony.
What the hell is with the leotards? Seriously. We get it already. You're sexy. You're body is hot shit. Of all the things you could have worn to get your point across THAT is what you chose? I don't understand. You've got stylists galore (sidenote: While it's not nice to talk about somebody's mama....REALLY? Your mom's out to get you. That dress is ugly) And quite frankly, you are sexier here, here AND here.

And Also, since I'm letting it all hang out...that leotard? It's been done already. Just recently. I'm sure being all about music and fashion and whatnot you already know that. But in case you didn't:

You should have left her alone in her leotard trend...but you didn't Bey..err Sasha...errr...whoever you are. Please stop. Before it gets out of hand.

Or is it already to late?
Is tired of looking at crotches that don't have dollar bills stuffed in them.