Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Because I know all about fashion

I was talking to my sister the other while I was on the way to work (YES, I was totally wearing my earpiece. It’s the LAW) and while I was sitting at a light, this guy is crossing the street walking his daughter (?) to school. The girl was in her school uniform with the cutest pink backpack I ever did see and the guy was in a uniform, of sorts. A wife beater and jeans hanging down to his knees. It aggravated me to the point that I completely veered off topic and started a tirade. I think that this whole saggy pants thing has gone too far. There. I said it.

It may be that I’m used to STANDARDS (very rarely will you see a military guy sagging something ridiculous, even in civilian clothes – you do NOT want to get caught out looking like a thug by your commanding officer at the mall), or that I’m OLD, or old fashioned, you can even say that I’m not hip. But seriously. WHAT. THE. FUCK?

Back when I was a teenager (yeah, all the old people start their tirades like this, don’t they?), my boyfriend wore tapered khakis (new school skinny jeans. Ahem. All things old are new again). Yes, I keep it old school. And YES, there was a teeny bit of sag. I mean, who wants to wear DAD JEANS?

Now I have to see your WHOLE ASS? WTF is that about? Why is that supposed to be cute? I thought we were in agreement people. I thought crack (ass crack, crack pipe, ALL CRACK) was wack. ‘Member? Whitney Houston said? Not only do I have to see your raggedy draws, I have to watch you duck walk across the street because your pants are so down around your knees that the belt you have on (why are you even wearing a belt?!) is completely superfluous and the only way you can keep your pants from falling around your ankles is to walk like that, while trying to hold up your pants with one hand. THAT? Is not sexy.

It also makes me want to cause you a thousand years of pain.

So I guess it’s lucky for me that 1) I’m married 2) I’m CLEARLY not the kind of person these boys (because I am unable to call you a man when you are dressed this way) are trying to attract and 3) I STILL don’t have a camera. Because I totally would have been taking pictures of all the ridiculousness that I’ve seen over the last couple of days.

Although I will say that this has motivated me to go out and get one, this weekend. (No, really. I’m going to get a camera. For real this time)


Trudy said...

Glad you put the note about the camera, thought you were gonna go get some draggedy pants.

We had a young guy working with us a few years ago. Whenever I could see the sag, I'd walk behind him, yank up his pants and tell him to get a belt!!! I was old enough to be his mother, so he had to take it.

The novelty of that fashion statement has worn off.

Although, watching the guys try to get across the street before a car plows them down is very entertaining.

Kori said...

I totally agree; it isn't even attractive in the least, and I don't let my kids wear their clothes like that, EVER. In fact, when Eli's friends come over, they are also not allowed to wear their jeans down over their ass; I make them put on a belt or wear a pair of Eli's shorts. And the funny thing is, the little buggers respect that and KEEP COMING OVER! Maybe they are just glad someone cares about whether or not they look like shit. Just sayin.

Kel said...

I absolutely can not stand the baggy pants thing and it makes me even more outraged when my 12 year old tries it and then says, it's the fashion mom. NO, kids have been doing that since as long as I can remember and it has NEVER been "in" fashion as far as I am concerned.

And walking his daughter (?) to school. *rolls eyes*

Laura said...

My friend gave my son a pair of her sons jeans a year ago...they were like brand new but her son had gone through a growth spurt and could no longer wear them...my son tried them on and didn't want to come out and show us. After much cajoling, he steps out but doesn't want to do the turn (you know the turn) because *gasp* the jeans are form fitting enough that you can actually tell he HAS an ass without having to see the whole thing. We were dying laughing and finally convinced him that the girls might like it.

Man, I miss the days of my youth where guys wore jeans form fitting enough (without being tight) that you could tell they had a nice ass but it still left something to the imagination. And we didn't have to see the underwear until we really wanted to.

wendy said...

It kills me that the kids swear this is comfortable. Really? REALLY? Because heaven forbid you have to RUN somewhere! THAT is funny stuff. *sigh*

Aimeepalooza said...

Thank goodness my boy is a baggy not saggy jeans boy. He keeps a loose belt so they hang on his hips but without the butt show!!! Woo Hoo! I'd smack him otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Still, you need a camera? Hey how about some paint while you are out! Yeah I said it. Hugs