Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Because all sense isn't good sense...

It's my own fault. Over at Tattooed Minivan Mom she was giving her hubby free reign to write a post and I thought it would be a cool idea to let The Man write a blog post over here. I forgot that 1. He likes to exaggerate 2. He can REALLY talk 3. He's an ass..LOL.
So, as your hair greys while reading this post, remember: He loves me, he's pretty good in bed and he pays most of the bills.

Introducing...my husband aka The Man better known as Mr. Fucking Funny Man.

So Ole Girl wants me to write something for her blog site. I told her I would do it, just because she thinks I can write some funny stuff. If there is an easy way out of something I will try it, so I suggested she use one of my stories from some of my adventures around the world, she shot me down saying “that I had to do something new”. I told her to give me a topic or some guidance on what she wanted to see, she sends me back a list of things, all talking about her. Wow, you want me to write out of the blue, but it has to be about you. I gotta sit here and type for who knows how long, but you need to be the subject. Well since I am doing all the typing, I will write about what I want.

This is just a few of my favorite people, places and things.

Ole Girl: She is in my list of favorite people and tops the list of people I want to do…

My little people: When you see them in action, you wonder where they get their brains and talent from. Not from me I know that. They know math, I don’t. I know when I go to the atm and it says your broke, I figure somewhere in my spending, I forgot to carry the 1 over and move the decimal point.


My Mom: If time could be bought back, I would be flat broke. There is no amount that I would not spend to bring my mom back….

My Dad: Yup he is in my list of my favorites. When you think of role models and super heroes, he is both of those wrapped up into one. Wisdom, Strength, Compassion, Faith, Trust and so much more. I remember growing up, I would do something stupid and my dad would lecture me for hours about it. One day he talked so long, I saw the sun go down and the street lights come on. I was like “dang, now would be a good time for a run away car to come and hit me, at least he would change the subject”.


My Sis and Bro: Now when I say that none of us are alike in anyway, it’s the truth in all ways. Not saying anything bad.

Bacon: if you are a vegetarian, your missing out on one of God’s greatest gifts to man.


Spam: If someone told me that I had to choose between Spam and Bacon and I could only have the one that I chose, for the rest of my life and could not change. I would ask that person if anyone else knew that we were having this conversation and if they would follow me out to this little cabin that I have in the desert. That person would never be heard from again. Those are my 2 favorite meats. Some folks like a nice big juicy steak, not me.

Sports: What would I do if there were not sports to watch? I would be broke, because I would have at least 18 kids. All I would do is bang Ole Girl day and night and have her think she was making doughnuts, the way they would be rolling out of her.

Papas and Beer: Holy Shit, they have a place that you can go and start clubbing at 9 am. When I say I thought I had made it to Mecca (that was before I drove up to the Spam museum in Minneapolis, that was my Mecca (I really like Spam)), I knew I had made it to the promise land. A cool place to party, and we opened up a tab.. By 11am this place is Asshole to Elbows packed. The sun had not burned off all the morning dew, but the club was jumping and drinks were being served. We drank from 9am – 5 pm for $90.00. Ole Girl will testify, that we don’t drink lightly and I don’t mind buying a group of folks a round of drinks. I bought a lot of rounds of drinks and for a lot of folks and we all had the best time ever.

Ole Girl wants me to keep this short so, those are a few things that made my favorites list. Hope you enjoyed reading…

12 comments:

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Good job Mr. Fucking Funny Man!

Ole girl is lucky to have a man who would want to bang her all day, if and when his precious sports should go away. I like a man with priorities.

And I like a man who can appreciate Spam. I am Hawaiian and we love our Spam. Spam and its high sodium content are way to underrated.

Thanks for playing!

Elftea said...

Bacon. Gotta love that man. I would give you all my cash to it time would let us.

Jane said...

I like his honesty. Very entertaining!

Swirl Girl said...

Any friend of forced pork meat products is a friend of mine!

Yaya said...

Spam.....Lol!

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

You totally rock! Next guest post, I'm going to hijack you and not give you back until she notices! That was awesome. And bacon?! Bacon?! Just tonight I tried to feed my Kid straight bacon bots from the bag. The REAL kind...I was very disappointed that he spit it out. I will win that war eventually. I think I love you both now.

Preston said...

Great post but what man doesn't love bacon? The only thing better than bacon is bacon and cheese. Uh, and maybe bacon, cheese, and a nice lager. But you can keep your Spam; however, I do eat Scrapple so there you have it.

Kori said...

thumbs up to the bacon, a huge GAG to the Spam. I think I would rather become a vegetarian than have to eat Spam. Really. Sure glad for this guest post, because it made me laugh!

Nicole said...

I'm with you on the bacon. Could eat it all day if I was allowed. Great post Funny man!

Beck said...

Good job to the man! Funny, and not too long. I enjoyed his post (:

Star Forbis said...

Thank you so much for visiting my Blog today & Laughing with me.
Come back anytime.

Lump said...

hell yeah I love this! I swear you and the Man are probably one of the most awesome couples out there. for real.

but I'm passing on the Spam. Thanks.