Nobody likes a smart ass
But that’s not really true. People DO like smart asses. Which is why Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are so popular. And of course, EVERYONE loves me [snort]. What’s not to love?
Married young and still in Love
How about it.? Six words, AND it’s true. I got married at the ripe old age of 19 to my high school sweetheart/baby daddy (although, he’s kind of a jerk..so I don’t know if “sweetheart” is the right word…then again, I am sort of a jerk too so maybe we’re even). What can I say? I like a bad boy. And the bad boy likes me *wink*
You WISH you had my awesome-ness
Umm..is awesome-ness even a word? LOL. Okay, now I’m just reaching. Then again. If you’re here reading this, YOU are awesome (because you are bathed in my awesomey glow). So then I guess you DO have my awesome-ness. (Seriously, it that a word? Even if it’s not, I think I like it)
I DON’T REGRET A FUCKING THING.
Bam! Six words, all me. All of the things to this point have made me, ME. The asshole-y things, the nice things, the what-the-hell-was-I-thinking things. And I enjoyed MOST of them. Except maybe being shot at. I can even say (now) I’m glad that I had my 1st child so young. We grew up together, I was still young enough to roll around in the dirt with him and now… he’s moved out on his own, so, one down, one to go. LOL.
I don’t believe in regrets. I think that everything I’ve done from getting knocked up early to going back to school NOW…and even picking a fight with an ENTIRE softball team - which we’ll just go ahead and file under WTF was I thinking – led me here. Happily married, with my 2 brats and my fairly cool job that allows me to go to concerts and Vegas and vacations with the girls and sometimes, The Man when he can get some leave.
And even better, I LIKE who I am, for all of those things. Even that one time, when I got completely drunk hanging out with the girls and had to have The Man come & get me and he talked mad shit about me the next day and all I could say was at least I didn’t DRIVE (which shut him up quick fast and in a hurry).
So yeah, I think I’ll go with that one. Not one single, solitary thing.
(But if you don't like that one, I got two more words that define me: FUCK. YOU.)