Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hit Dog Will Holler**....

And other random country sayings my mother said that just now make sense.

So. 'Member how I said that I had the costumes ALL picked out for Halloween? Well I was gonna be this:

Girl on Safari. After all. Who else was gonna be able to corral a kangaroo? I knew the kangaroo costume was gonna be a risk, but what woman who is married to a Marine is NOT a risk taker? Certainly not me. Well I got my costume folks and let me tell you. God does NOT like ugly*. (Translation: While I was yucking it up over The Man's costume, that damn kangaroo karma came around and kicked me square in the ass. And did it ever). My costume. So cute online? I even got the EXTRA large, because I know better than to think they would make that costume for regular sized people, so I figured I'd get the next size up... Well. Apparently it only comes in ONE size. SMEDIUM. You know, supposed to be regular sized, but really a small? Yeah. REALLY SMALL.

As I looked around, I saw that I had a very small selection of comfortable costumes, but I could be slutty or skanky in a variety of colors and sizes. Take for instance, this costume.

Still "Girl on Safari" albeit a skankier version. Replace buttons with corset, and no sleeves. Wouldn't a girl on a safari need sleeves? It gets hot in Australia...I would need SOME kind of protection from the sun, wouldn'tcha think? It also came with the world's tiniest skirt attached. A skirt so tiny, that I would go out & get panties that said "If you can read this, kiss my ass..since you're already down there" (that probably could ALL fit on my backside. Heh) How do I know? I ordered it too, as a back up.

Ordered a large, packaging SAYS large. Dress says: smedium. Literally.

So. Me 2 costumes, The Man - just one.

But don't worry, the costume party is Saturday, and I will be a girl on safari. Somehow.

Just watch me.

* where does my mom GET these sayings? Oh yeah. Arkansas.
**Hit dog will holler - So, I told my friend at work what I'm dressing The Man up as Halloween, she said you are SOOO evil. Ouch! Who threw that rock...?


angel said...

omg i sknow where you're coming from!!! i love those outfits, especially the really sexy ones (KWIM... nudge nudge wink wink) and then we have a look in the shops, or online, and they say "fits most sizes". i don't even look further...
good luck with your outfit!

Anonymous said...

if you had a khaki colored dress and use the accessories from your 2 costumes. You might be able to make that work. smiles

Miss Britt said...

I'm cracking up at the Tim Gunn LOLpuppy.

Katie said...

HAHA! really? SMEDIUM? that's a size?

I have no doubt you will make it work! :)

McMommy said...

I SO understand!! What is with Halloween that costume manufacturers feel that women everywhere want to whore out for a night?!?!

the cubicle's backporch said...

The Tim Gunn puppy is too cute!

I hate the 'one size fits most' nonsense. WTF?