I'm not really sure why I thought this was a good idea

BUT. At some point between 11PM and 1 AM, I decided "you know what I need? I need more distractions! I need MORE WORK TO DO! I need my own website!"

And so. Here it is: Check me out at my new place.

Why do people go to BlogHer? {The picture heavy addition}

Somebody asked me why I go to BlogHer. I go for some of the same reasons that most people go. To network, my blog is tiny, but I love it. This year, I even went to a session or two. AND, I went to the convention hall. While I am not REALLY the kind of blogger that this event markets to (I'm not having another baby, not even for more swag), there were companies whose products I was actually interested in.

But for me, it's also about:

 Taking awkward pictures with friends that I haven't seen in a while.

And dancing so long/hard that I had to take off my fabulous (hot pink) shoes. (Pro tip: If you're going to wear  4 and 1/2 inch heels, MAKE SURE YOU BREAK THEM IN FIRST)

And sometimes it IS about cake. Fabulous, awesome, SPARKLECORN cake!

I wore this special for @emmiej

And wearing shirts that say FUCK, that end up disqualifying me from taping a 2 minute video from Hillshire Farms because APPARENTLY my shirt is inappropriate, and they like to keep it PG-13.

 It's about Aiming Low parties, where they have those words that you can put together to say weird things. (My contribution: This isn't about chest hair. Which. OBVIOUSLY. Hopefully the lady bloggers at BlogHer weren't having TOO many issues with chest hair)

It's about taking pictures of the random things you find because I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, THIS IS FUNNY. (And she was too. And nice. Apparently there are REALLY nice people in Arizona, not just tumbleweeds.)

It's about dragging newbies along for the ride, and forcing them to get a twitter handle, and then telling them that HAI, I'm a blogger. All pictures that I take run the risk of being posted on the internet.

And about the end of the weekend, where after a weekend of hanging with all the friends who live in your computer, you have these stickers to show for it (FYI: Both penis stickers were given to me. They are both true. But. So is the one that says I'm awesome. Because I totally am.)

And it's about already planning next year's trip, to do it all over again. Hilton, I hope you're ready.

Sometimes when I don't know what to write about...

I don't write about anything.

 I just kinda look at my blog languish, and think, "but my life is so interesting! I went to Wango Tango!(don't ask...or, don't ask YET), my family is ridiculous!, my job is driving me crazy!" But, in reality, I'm also super busy. THANK GOD (no, really) for my spring semester being over. Homework, and studying, and worrying about passing Managerial Accounting was keeping me extremely busy.

And then I don't have time to write all of the things that I want to write down, when I want to write them down. And then they kind of become fleeting thoughts:

I was in Vegas this weekend, and Monday when I should have been getting up and getting ready to flee that place, I was watching Maury. Also known as The New Jerry. Does Jerry Springer even still come on television? WHY DO THESE PEOPLE ON MAURY ALWAYS LOOK SO SURPRISED THEY GOT SOMEBODY PREGNANT? DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW SEX WITHOUT CONDOMS WORK?! Is Maury single handedly keeping that DNA place in business with all his shows about baby daddies?


My friends and I always take the most ridiculous pictures. This Vegas trip was no exception. I really hope she frames this and hangs it in the living room.


I had no idea that I was going to like Lady Gaga.Or T-Pain. Turns out T-Pain puts on a REALLY GOOD SHOW. 


Why do I always have to convince people that I have a son that's 21 years old? Who lies about that?! Related: YES. I know I look young. 


You know it's bad when I say "I'm going to Vegas" and the girl who does my nails says AGAIN? WTF, dude? I've only gone ONCE this year.


It SO SUCKS that I didn't get to go to Okinawa.


I love carpooling/saving gas money/ getting free stuff from work, I sometimes hate my carpool partner, aka Mr. Toad.


See what I mean? These random thoughts could totally be blog posts. Maybe I'll put all of these random thoughts into a hat and pick one.

People do that right?

Reply All

It all started last Thursday. I received a random e-mail which CLEARLY was a mistake. Of course it was sent to a bunch of e-mail groups. But. Do you know what *I* do when I get e-mails that are CLEARLY sent to me mistakenly? I ignore and/or them. Unless I receive more than one. I mean, because, really? How many times will people:

1. Reply ALL
2. Request to be removed from the mailing list

 Let me tell you: MORE THAN 50 TIMES.

Remember how I said that normally, I just ignore/delete them?

Yeah, so apparently, all it takes is for me to come in first thing in the morning and find ONE. MORE. E-MAIL. And then this happens:

Hello Everyone (including: various MDs, my supervisor, AND my manager*),

Perhaps you are not aware of this, but TO THE LEFT of the REPLY ALL button, is the REPLY button. If you are unclear on when it is appropriate to use, please use THIS GUIDE.

THANKS! 

*It also went to the Manager of SOME IMPORTANT DEPARTMENT. He said he will be sending that link to his staff. So. I guess they don’t plan to fire me for my insubordinance. YET.

What I learned from NaBloPoMo

1. Attempting to post everyday is IMPOSSIBLE. For me. I don't know how some of you do it, I suspect that you're just some sort of jackass show off who wants to make me look bad by using kickass time management skills, but WHATEVA.

2. Y'all are some awesome writers. I'm not going to lie, my Reader always gets a little constipated this time of the month, because a lot of you are taking this time to write a post a day (see #1) which means that where I was only reading a few posts a week/month, there is now a post. EVERY. DAY. BUT. This whole NaBloPoMo has made me remember why I put you in my reader in the first place.

3. I learned that if you don't have anything to say, you can post a picture and it still counts as a blog post. Heh.

4. I missed blogging! I went from blogging on average every couple of days to blogging MAYBE once or twice a month. Pfft. I blame twitter. It's much easier being a jackass 140 characters at a time, than writing a big long post about my jackassyness. (It is too a word) ANYWAYS, even the attempt at blogging for 30 days straight made me remember that I'm interesting! And funny! And I have SHIT TO SAY.

So the moral of the story is that I didn't have to do all 30 days to get back into the swing of blogging. I mean... it's not like when you have strep throat and your doctor gives you a weeks worth of antibiotics and you only take 4 days because after the 4th days YOU FEEL FINE and SEE? MY THROAT'S NOT EVEN HURTING ANYMORE, and then the next thing you know, your throat is feeling scratch again because you didn't take your meds as prescribed. Right? RIGHT?

It's also Plan Your Own Epitaph Day*

I read a lot of blogs. I mean, a LOT. As in, if everybody in my Reader actually posted for NaBloPoMo, I would be in a shit load of trouble. As it is, if I skip a few days, I start panicking about how I'm going to read all those posts.

But you know what I don't do?

Comment.

I'm not sure why. Sometimes, it's because I just don't have time to read and comment while simultaneously pretending like I don't have work/laundry/homework/OTHER SHIT to do. Sometimes, I don't think I can say anything of value in the comments. Or sometimes, some other funny motherfucker said what I wanted to say, but funnier. I HATE THAT.

But. If you're going through all of the trouble of posting everyday, the very least I could do is comment, right? Especially since I'm reading. I mean, isn't that's what it's all about? Yeah, yeah, you totally do it for YOU and you would still blog even if NOBODY read it. But...dont lie... isn't it nice when somebody does?

And so, I'm ALSO naming this month National Commenting like a MoFo Month or NaCoMoFo.

If you post it and I read it, I'll comment on it. Because I liked it/thought it was funny/think you are a blogging bad ass. Really.



*Here Lies UndercoverMama. She loves her family, her friends, and you. Yes, you.
** I hope to have PLENTY MORE YEARS before the subject of my epitaph ever comes up.

Blogher10 Recap...or How to Drive Housekeeping Crazy. You decide.

Yes. I did go to blogher10. I had fun, I met a lot of new people, and a few people that I should see more often because WE ALL LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, GUYS. WHY DON'T I SEE MORE OF YOU?

I could go on and on about how much fun I had, how weird it was to fly to New York to meet a bunch of people who mostly live inside my computer,  and how much sight-seeing I did (related: how much walking I did. You NY people are some walking mf'ers), and how I can’t WAIT for Blogher11 in San Diego which is down the highway a bit, but still close. But I’m not. I’m going to tell you a story about how to torture housekeeping.

Do Not Disturb. Please and Thank You

It started off simply enough, we got in on Wednesday, flopped down on the beds of our choice and unpacked. As I’m sure you know, 4 bloggers + 4 ½ days = a whole lot of STUFF. There were laptops, cameras, phones and SHOES. THERE WERE A LOT OF SHOES. Instead of locking up our stuff in the itty bitty safe, we decided to skip housekeeping. Throw on the Do Not Disturb, sign. No big deal. We’ll just change out the towels (because NYC in August means that we were taking at least 2 showers a day)

The next day as we were getting ready to step out of our rooms housekeeping was RIGHT THERE. You guys need housekeeping? Oh, no thanks. Just towels. Well, we’ll come in and…. No. We’ll bring them out.

And then it became a game.


Everytime we left for the day’s shenanigans, there was a cart. WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO CLEAN OUR ROOM. We would politely refuse, if they caught us leaving – just change out the towels. More likely we would scurry out as they were “conveniently” cleaning a neighboring room..We would sneak out at night and empty our trash…We were running out of toilet paper. Because IF WE HAD HOUSEKEEPING they would have replaced it. Our solution?


Call down to the desk: Hey umm…everybody in our room has the runs. Can you send up some TP? (Yes. That is really how @shuggilippo requested extra rolls) Not true at all. Although. We had more conversations about pooping than I could have imagined. Also? They brought up 3 rolls.


I’m sure they were wondering WTF was going on that we didn’t want housekeeping to see:







Nothing to see here. Nothing at all*



*Also, I should thank NY Hilton for being such good sports. And once we packed up all of our crap and threw away all of our trash, the room didn’t look horrible. Except….for the big giant pile of towels in the bathroom.

** Last 3 pictures lifted from Undomesticdiva/my roomie

I never really thought

...That I would enjoy blogging so much. Which is weird, considering that I am the kind of girl who had a journal...And these ridiculous stories of mine? Are stories that if I HADN'T been blogging, then I totally would've e-mailed my friends. And not only am I writing these stories here, I also was talked into writing over here too.

...That I wouldn't even think twice about asking twitter to help me pick out shoes to buy, or to remind me to do something.

...That I would have the balls to do a meet-up with some bloggers/tweeters in Las Vegas, where I got completely drunk, got my boobs graffiti'd, and took a shitload of pictures.

...That I would make a last minute decision to crash Miss Grace's Super Secret Trip of Awesome where I'd sleep on the couch, try to figure out WTF is a Virgin Tin Lady, and randomly give a last minute tour of a Marine Corps Depot (because someone had never been on a Marine Corps Base and/or met a Marine IN UNIFORM --which, OMG. A Marine in uniform is quite possibly the sexiest sight there is.)

...That I would decide that I would go to Blogher, and end up spending 5 days in NYC, where there's going to be Hooters, and drinking and SHENANIGANS.

Nope. Never would have thought this would be my life. BUT I'M SO GLAD IT IS.

You know what's awesome?

When you start blogging because you have so much to say and nobody to say it to, so you find a really nifty space to say and be whoever you want...And you find an awesome community of bloggers who talk you into signing up for twitter because OH MY GAH!! All the cool kids are doing it and you meet a bunch MORE cool blogger types. AND THEN, you go to the #VegasBirthdayBash where VDog's first impression of  you is you drunk off your ass and shaking it in the Planet Hollywood elevators.

And she invites you to come blog at her place anyways.




I didn't write HERE, because I wrote over there. C'mon over and visit me. Because I *am* the kinda broad who will invite other people to come and kick it at somebody elses house.