Thursday, August 27, 2009

I've got mail

I have several thousand e-mail addresses. The one that I've had since I've had a computer (an AOL e-mail address if you can believe it). I keep it so that people who have lost touch with me will always have a way to find me. I always check it, and it's also generally the one that family uses. A Yahoo one that I use for "other stuff": paypal, promotional e-mails for stuff like RueLaLa, discount hotel offers to Vegas (please stop it. I can't afford to go back yet and all these super discounted rates are mocking me. MOCKING ME), concert information - because I go to a LOT of concerts, it's also linked to my Facebook, and...back in the day..I even got porn to that e-mail address. Long Story. I have an "I'm a professional" e-mail address, a work e-mail that I sometimes, okay...OFTEN get personal e-mails sent to, and the one for here: youbethekettle (at)

I got a lot of fucking e-mail addresses. But, I'm going to talk about my yahoo one. Why? Because it's becoming the bane of my freakin' existence right now. I've never had so much mail in my entire life. This yahoo one... generally, if I sign up for something, that's the one I use. Unless I'm mad at The Man. Then I use his. I know. Fuckery at it's finest. But at least he knows my horoscope, and when Tom Jones is going to be in concert. Moving on. I signed up for Facebook on a fluke. Because a friend of mine has all of his pictures there, and I couldn't see them until I signed up.

ANYWAYS, for a long while, I never used it. Then my sister was all "Hey, DINOSAUR, get with it and get on Facebook." Which, SURPRISE! I was already on but not using. So then I'd posted an update:

I signed up for a fantasy football league. I have no idea what I'm doing and draft day is Sunday. Suggestions, comments...HELP?
Yesterday at 8:54am · via iGoogle Gadget · Comment · Like · Remove

Let the crap-tastic amount of e-mails begin: "...XXX commented on your status..." Heaven forbid that you mess around and comment on somebody ELSE'S status. Because then? You're getting eleventy thousand emails every time ANYBODY comments " also commented on JoeBlow's status". And I don't even know these people, more importantly could care less what they think. More to the point, I would prefer not to get an e-mail everytime somebody says BOO.

These e-mails add up. Facebook will send you e-mails if somebody:
  • sends a message
  • adds me as a friend/ confirms request
  • posts on my wall
  • pokes me
  • tags me in a photo
  • tags one of MY photos
  • coments on my photos
  • comments AFTER me on a random photo
  • leaves a wall comment
  • comments AFTER me on somebody ELSE'S wall story
  • sent me an drink, or a smile, or a chug it request, or a sorority life thingamajig
  • does anything at all to me
  • the list goes on and on....
My e-mail was blowin' up y'all...and not in the good way. In the "Fuckin' A...what the hell is all this shit?!" way. I was deleting messages so fast that I was actually MISSING the stuff I wanted to read. Don't you hate that? You're all in the zone and before you know it, you've deleted that pre-sale info about NIN's final tour and you threw it in the trash because you thought it was another g.d. facebook message?

So. I went back and changed everything. Unchecked it ALL. I don't want y'all sending me e-mails about anything. I will check my own friends requests, and respond to those people I want to respond to and ignore everything else (No more pillow fights, food flings, what kind of rock star am I, no kisses, no hugs...just...NO)

I can just feel my aggravation ease now that I am no longer receiving crazy amounts of e-mail. Well... I mean I *STILL* receive crazy amounts of e-mail, just...about stuff I care about. Like $35/night room rates in Vegas, and pre-sale info for various bands (speaking of...WTF Paramore?! I can't/won't take a 13 year old girl to a concert on a THURSDAY, she's got school on Friday), and upcoming boutiques. Even though I'm sort of on a haitus for shopping/concert going, I still wanna know what's going on in the world of people who go places and people who do stuff.
So I'll content myself with reading e-mails from cousins, of the next 9West sale, jokes from long lost friends, and comments from you.
YES, *YOU*. I see you reading this. Now, pop on in the comments and say "hey!"


Aimeepalooza said...

I feel your facebook email pain! And Hey!!!

wendy said...

So, um...yeah. I have a fb too, and i'm finding it to be a full time job!! There's my sorority to run, a farm to which to tend, hugs, smiles, and drinks to send...and the freaking slot machines! UGH!

I need to go on hiatus from fb!! I feel your email pain!

JustMiss said...

I have the facebook app on my phone and if I comment on anything, it starts having a total freakout. Which is why I never use facebook.

Laura said...

ROFL You crack me up. You sound just exactly like me. I finally gave in and signed up for facebook about 3 months ago and had the same reaction (and speaking can OPT OUT of these emails??? WTF, why did I not know this??). AND, I was silly enough to start playing Farmville and I'm suddenly drowning in invites to play a million different games. Apparently people think I have NO life.

And this past week my mother signed up so I've spent two hours on the phone with her every night showing her how to do the limited amount of stuff that I know how to do. lol

Anonymous said...

That is why I have a fb only email. I check it once a month to clean out all the mial about shit I seeon my fb page.