Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Tuesday Tangents

I called my bank to tell them I lost my card. You know? The “If your card is lost or stolen, call THIS number” number? Well, that’s what I called. After several prompts asking if I wanted this message in English, did I want to take a survey after I spoke with customer service, I got a real person.
Him: Can I have your card number?
Me: No. BECAUSE I LOST IT.

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I always take the street in to work, never the freeway, because it’s much faster. And today, I took a street that I haven’t taken in a while. (I like to switch my route, because I’m paranoid, and concerned that someone is stalking me and knows I usually take Whatever Ave. home). Sometimes I would call The Man and say, guess what I saw? I just saw a man driving with pigeons in the dashboard. He would call bullshit. I mean, like really? Who would make that up, I’d say. Why would I call you to tell you that? Surprise! That time I had my camera phone out & ready because I KNEW he wasn’t going to believe it.

But today, I forgot my phone at home. Rather than return home to get it, I figured everybody e-mails me anyways, so not that big a deal I don’t have it. Why, WHY didn’t I have it?
Today I saw


A boy wearing a cape. But not just any boy. I’m going to guess a 15 year old boy, wearing a cape, standing at the bus stop. A cape like this one. He was wearing a black shirt, a pair of jeans, AND A RED CAPE. I wanted to stop and take his picture because I figured nobody would believe me. But I couldn’t. And that's how I found out I didn’t have my phone.

I also saw a working girl. At 7 AM. Freezing her ass off on the corner of Hard & For the Money Street. She was wearing a yellow tank top, and the thinnest yellow leggings EVER (and no underwear, which I could have lived my WHOLE life without knowing – but that was how thin they were), and knee high white stiletto boots. Which were REALLY cute. I was sitting in my car, kind of staring off.. you know, stuck at a light and just taking in the surroundings, when I saw her walking up across the street. She looked cold, hell, I was cold, and I was wearing a dress, a sweater and some boots (not as fly as hers though). It was about 60 something degrees this morning. I was hoping she was getting off “work”, but really, it looked like her day was just getting started. Then again, I suppose hooking is probably like working at a 7-11; it’s a 24-hours-a-day-7-days-a-week job. Probably without benefits. Then I got to thinking how it would probably be better as a seasonal job. I mean, think about it. In the summer time, the weather is pretty warm, which is good because you probably aren’t wearing a whole lot. Even at night, you’re okay because the evening temps don’t dip too far down. There are lots of people out; my area is a tourist town, so there’s probably brisk business. And you probably can get away with not being on the corner because the customer may want to take you to a hotel in Beverly Hills and rent you for the month, and then, you can just get a flat rate or something…Wait. Apologies. I believe that I saw that in a movie.

Still though, there’s a pretty good chance the weather alone lends that profession to closing down in the winter… because selling your wares in the winter, even in Southern California has got to be uncomfortable when it’s cold. Except that one hooker I saw once. She was wearing a big ginormous down jacket…one of those puffy ones. Downside: She was butt naked underneath. (Didn’t get a picture of that either)

8 comments:

ElfTea said...

When your mind wonders it goes. It fills a bag with some shoes with a change of clothes. Love your mind.

Lump said...

"Hard & For the Money Street" ha! dude, Dallas has the same EXACT street, except I don't usually see any fly boots walking down that street here.

you should have asked her where she got them boots! ;)

Random Hiccups said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

I totally agree with you. Its always the days when we forget our cell or whatever we need it. Curse you Murphy!

Kori said...

I like the way your mind workds. Feels like home to me.

Comedy Goddess said...

I'm tired of seeing cops at Dunkin Donuts. Don't they know it's cliche?

You're blog is funny! How come you don't have a followers gadget?

sandy said...

Too funny!

AndreaLeigh said...

The things you see sometimes! I can't believe you saw a boy with a cape.. how strange.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

LMAO that's too funny! All of it!

My daughter wears a crown where ever she goes so I can totally see her hanging out with someone with a cape. Actually she wore her crown with a cape for Halloween. Yeah she's an original lol.