So I was wrong. I didn't SPRAIN my ankle. I TORE a tendon. Yeah, sprain/tore. Don't even sound alike to they? Not so surprisingly, they don't FEEL the same either. Turns out, I'll be off a few more days than I thought, and...I'll be having surgery. Dang.
The Doctor practically ran me through the hospital. I was seen, surgerized and sent home in the space of 3 days. Now I'm sitting here on my laptop, with my foot up, high on physician prescribed drugs (oooh..the good stuff). I'm still learning to hop around on my crutches, which is harder once the drugs kick in. It's like being stumbling drunk, except on ONE foot...or maybe on stilts? Either way, not easy.
Then my sis & her BFF come by to visit (read: view the wreckage). And here come the questions:
1. Does it hurt? Does a bear shit in the woods?
2. When are you going back to work? When they make me, or my sick time runs out.....
3. Do I need a bed pan? (Her funny BFF, RN asks...) Nope, I hobble to the potty frequently
4. Need someone to give me a bed bath...'cause I know she'll wash my dirty self if I NEED her to? (She got jokes) I love you enough to not request it. It's the bad times the MAN signed up for when he married me...LOL
5. Do I have shoes I can wear....?
......Do I have shoes? SHOES? I have purple shoes, white shoes, patent leather shoes, RED shoes with a pretty silver buckle...Oh, you mean shoes that AREN'T heels? I guess I can't really wear high heels, or rather...One.High.Heel.
Or maybe I could. Picture it:
Me, one cast - hot pink ('cause I can pick the color), and one hot pink high heel. I'm hobbling along in my one high heel, looking cute and then....i get stuck in one of those cracks and twist my OTHER ankle and then my Doctor in a fit of disgust does NOT fix my ankle because he says only an idiot would try to wear heels on crutches anyways, and so I am doomed to try to balance on crutches because I don't have the use of my feet. Eventually though, he takes pity and puts a cast on my OTHER ankle -also hot pink ( 'cause I want to match)-so it's like I'm wearing hot pink boots. But now I can't walk, because you can't really walk on those casts, can you?
One last question:
6. WHO is going to do your pedicure because HONEY, your feet look like hell.