Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Random and Ridiculousness

True Stories of what happens to me at work

Heard while sitting in on a meeting:

MD: It's official, I'm an asshole.

Other staff: What happened?

MD: So, I see the patient's name, and I'm all.... you know that's a singer's name too right?
"I fell down in a burning ring of fire..."
That was before I saw the prognosis...He pretty much is.
I guess I should have looked before I jumped
resumes singing.... "through the ring of fire.... the ring of fire..."
clears throat...Sorry. I just really like that song.

I guess sometimes, when you see so much sadness, you have to make your jokes where you can. (Just next time, if you're going to make inappropriate jokes, save them for the staff meetings like everybody else)


So today I got my weekly Sephora e-mail (because I love shoes, but I love make up too) and this weeks theme: Hair removal. They had this:

Which apparently burns the hair off..painlessly. But it's not cheap. But then really, if you're trying to get rid of hair, is CHEAP the main requirement? And then they had:

Looked a little scary. I'm sure it was ALSO painless, but...well..it came with too many parts. What exactly do you need SIX attachments for? What are you doing down there? Trimming it in the shape of topiary animals? And then there was....

This. A self waxing kit. I will admit: I can pop out babies almost painlessly. I can get several tattoos without breaking into a cold sweat. But I flinch every.single.time I get my brows waxed. And I have to do SOMETHING. I don't want to look like I have a catapillar trying to grow into a butterfly ON MY FACE. But doing it myself? Ripping the hair off my face or *gulp* OTHER parts?! I shudder to think. All I can picture is me STARTING the job, and then, being unable to finish (because it's hard to rip the wax off while my eyes are closed and I am screaming), have to go to a PROFESSIONAL to finish because I can't just LEAVE it like that (you know, like that time you tried to dye your hair blonde and it came out some weird greenish color so you went to your friend the beautician to fix the horrible job you did and after she stopped laughing, she turned you into a very pretty brunette...??). Like that. Only worse. And what exactly are you going to SAY to the waxing lady when you explain THAT? And will she be able to stop laughing long enough to fix it? Something to think about, wouldn't you say?

and finally...

So for about two weeks, I've been using the bathroom less travelled at work because I am a germophobe, but I am a germophobe who drinks a lot of water. At first, I thought maybe some random patient put it in the bathroom. But why? Patients usually use the hallway restroom or sometimes random patient may even use the restroom in the front office(my office space is not patient-care). You almost have to KNOW about the bathroom that I use to even find it. But it's still there. First it was by the toilet seat covers, then it was under the toilet..and now...now it's on top of the paper towel dispenser. I'm tracking it all over the bathroom and it's driving me crazy:

Can somebody PLEASE tell me why there are BABY WIPES in the bathroom at work?



baby wipes in the bathroom at work? hmmm that is a little strange!


Lipstick said...

baby wipes in the bathroom? that is too funny! So in the spirit of humour, what would happen if your moved them to a different place every time you went to the secret bathroom?

BTW, so glad you visited my blog! :)

Anonymous said...

Here by way of POW.
I think I have the answer to the baby wipes mystery. I'm sorry if this sounds gross, but there's no other way of saying it-"hemorrhoids."

McMommy said...

your sephora analysis was hysterical!!!

And the baby wipes at work...um, for makeup removal?

Somehow, I think I'm wrong and FormerCityGirl is right.

happy pow!