Tuesday, March 2, 2010

$&(#*&@(*@^!! <--That's me trying not to drop an F-bomb at work

This is MY desk.

On my desk, I have a bajillion paperclips, a shit ton of post-its, the Lakers 2009-10 schedule, random pictures (Yes, that is a question mark. I hold it over my head when I want to know WTF you are talking about) and pens. The pens that I don't mind losing because I am a pen freak and hide my favorite ones. And a plant, because my co-worker across the walkway is constantly staring at my computer screen. Gah!

I'll bet you're wondering why I'm here today talking about my desk. It's because the other day a co-worker was digging around in my drawers HE CLAIMS looking for keys. Keys, I might add are always HERE on the side of my desk in that basket thingy.

Another co-worker caught him at my desk while I was out shopping for lunch. To be fair, I thought I had locked my desk, and if I HAD this would have been a non-issue. But uhh...in the years that I've worked here the keys have always been THERE. (see previous picture). NOT here.
When I found out, I went from my shopping induced euphoria to fighting mad in less than six seconds. I hate, hate, HATE people digging around in places where they don't belong (Yes, I hate going to the OB/GYN. Why do you ask?). I went right over to his office to rip him a new asshole, but lucky for the both of us, he was probably wondering the halls looking for another desk to violate or maybe, you know.. working. Whatever. His being gone probably saved my job.

But when I DID run into him, and please believe that I made it a point to do exactly that, I explained that it has been my understanding that the keys have been kept in the hanging thing there on the side of my desk, where I've seen you get them many times over the years...if not forever, for at least for the THREE FUCKING YEARS that I've been here. And you, "sir"...have never, not once found keys in my drawers.

Also? Rifling through my desk without permission is the same thing as digging through my purse. Which... I'm *sure* you would never do, right? Riiight.

So lets make a deal. If you don't see something on my desk, just wait for me to come back and ask me. And I never have almost cuss you out at work again*. KTHXBAI. (jackass)


*That's me. Keeping it professional while I'm tearing you a new one.


Kori said...

I am loving this post-becuase I would have lost it, too. My desk? MINE. Thankfully, we only have three people in my office, and each of them also has his.her own desk, so they don't need to get into mine. Not like I have anything to hide (other than my good pens, which makes me laugh about your post, too. I have the "feel free to use me" pen holder thingy, and then? MY stash. Sigh...I love pens), but fuck, it's MINE. :)

tom the girl said...

duuuuude....i would be PISSED!!!

agirlnamedmel said...

that plant, is a great fucking idea. why in the hell did I not think of that.
yeah, my pens are in the same place. where no one else's gah-damn nose belongs.

Anonymous said...

Holy hell you handled this a lot better than I think I would have because I hate hate hate when people go through my stuff with out permission or without needing to. I think you handled it quite well considering. Going through someone's desk is exactly what you said like going through their purse or wallet. Not good.

Bad Working Mom said...

This is funny, really funny. I love watching people go off the deep end...well, I guess that's why I'm in HR.

wendy said...

This is yet another of your posts I could have written!! I had a co-worker go through my things just about a month ago. I was furious. She knew I had something she wanted (I was told not to give it to her) and so she waited for me to leave so she could snoop! I let her have it, too!

wendy said...

(not the thing she wanted but a piece of my mind...that was unclear and my OCD self could not leave it be!)