Monday, May 4, 2009

Because I'm all about striking up conversation

This weekend (again) I went to the So Cal Renaissance Pleasure faire. As soon as my lazy friends send me pictures, I promise that I will post a REAL story all about the fun and good times. Yes, I know that I have plenty of nerve calling my friends LAZY when I refuse to go out and buy a damn camera and really, I’m waiting on The Man to go out & get me the digital camera I’ve been begging for about a month now. But I digress.

I think it is my fate in life to have completely ridiculous conversations with famous people.

As we were leaving the faire, I decided to make one more stop to the Privy because a) I had a few hard ciders and b) I have the bladder the size of a pea. I was almost ran over by a little boy in an Ironman costume. Apparently, I am not the only one – with the tiny bladder that is. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one drinking, but I’m just going to assume the little boy was not drunk.

ANYWHOOTER, I’m attempting to get all my skirts up because port-a-potty’s are gross when the kid runs into the potty next to me.

Ironman: Oh no…OH NO!! It’s too late
Helpful maiden: Are you okay?
Ironman: NO! Where’s my mommy?
HM: You need me to find her for you?
Ironman: Yes. Her name is *Ironman’s Mom*

Helpful maiden is wandering around the eating area calling for Ironman’s mom. Me? I’m trying not to drop my purse and fan into the toilet and get my skirts down. But when I come out, helpful maiden STILL was yelling for Ironman’s Mom.

After I WASH MY HANDS (because Ren Faire or not..handwashing is important) and see that helpful maiden is still wandering the eating area, I remember that I saw Ironman’s Mom sitting on a bale of hay. I walk over, and who do I spy sitting with Ironman’s Mom?

Me: Hi, are you Ironman’s Mom?
IM: Yes.
Me: Errr…Ironman needs you in the privvies.
IM: …?
Me: I think he had an accident. I was in the privvy next to him. Also, please let helpful maiden know that you are Ironman’s Mom. She’s been screaming your name for like, 5 minutes. (because I TOTALLY say, *like*, *totally* AND *awesome*. My college education, y’all. Hard at work)
IM: (exit, stage right)

As I’m walking away thinking WOW, that chaka khan sure is pretty up close and she’s not wearing any make-up and freckles, she has freckles…

CK: Thanks. How did you know it was her?
Me: Because I saw him (YOU) when I walked over. Good thing, since….
CK: What happened?
Me: (see 1st recap)
CK: Wow.
Me: Yeah, helpful maiden would not have known to come all the way over here looking for you.
CK: Thanks again

My inside thought…only I would meet a star when I’m NOT at work, so I can totally talk about it, but then I have to tell people that I had a conversation with chaka khan about her friend’s son who had a meltdown in a port-a-potty and peed on himself. Life does not get better than this.


marathoner81 said...

Yeah but totally got to talk to Chaka Kahn!!!!

SSQuo said...

Thats an awesome story.